TRUST

One frosty morning I found this bumblebee on a mum in the lower garden. It was cold, wet and not moving or flying.








So I reached down and held my hand close to it and ,amazingly, it crawled up onto my hand.
I walked back up to the house and put it on a rose near my front porch. It was warmer there and drier.




In an hour or so I went back to see if it was all right and the bee was gone. I sat on the porch and, as I listened to the beginnings of the day, I thought I heard a small voice somewhere say,"Thank you, Farmlady."

"You're welcome, Bumblebee."

Interview with an old person

December 4, 2008
Rockefeller Plaza
(in front of the christmas tree)

Matt L.: "We have a story coming out of Northern California this morning. This lady standing next to me is a native Californian that has spent her whole life there and since we didn't have any real news this morning, we thought we'd interview her and get her perspective on growing up in the golden state and what it's like to get old there. Well, Farmlady, happy birthday."

Farmlady: "Well, thank you Matt. I'm..."

M.L.: "So what's it like to be an old person? Is there a different way of looking at things when you turn 64?" ( the song "When I'm Sixty Four", by the Beatles, starts to play in the background.)

Farmlady: " I don't really consider myself a really old person. It's a frame of mind that..."

M.L.: But, seriously, don't you feel that by the time you get to your 60,s you're bucking the odds so to speak?..., that it's all down hill?"

Farmlady: " No, Matt, I don't. Now that I'm retired I find life is even more interesting than...."

M.L.: " What do you think of New York City? Is it a very different place than, say, Los Angeles?"

Farmlady: "I don't live in Los Angeles, but it's definitely colder here. I was raised in the San Francisco-Oakland Bay area and..."

M.L.: " Isn't it all the same there? Lots of liberals and earthquakes?"

Farmlady: "No..., but it's warmer. We don't have earthquakes all the time but we do have too many..."

M, L.: " So what your saying is that you think California is too radical and politicians are too moderate?"

Farmlady: "I didn't say that. I thought I was suppose to talk about...."

M.L.: " So is there anything else you would like to say about being 64 years old?"

Farmlady: " Well, I love my life and my family..., and thank you all the same, but I ..., excuse me Matt,please don't interrupt me again..., I think I'll go back to California and thaw out a bit."

M.L.: (Looks at the camera.) " This has been one person's views on being an older person in our society. Now back to Meredith, inside the studio."

The music fades and someone rushes over with a cup of coffee and an extra coat for Mr. L.
who grumbles something about this being a tough interview.

Farmlady smiles and thinks to herself that being 64 isn't that bad. It's 42 acres of oak trees and manzanita, 8 chickens, 4 goats, 2 old dogs, family and her bambinos, wonderful friends, and a husband that has loved her for 44 years...., and, when all is said and done, Life is not only what happens to you, it's how you play the hand that you're dealt and how you continue to do your best. No, 64 years is not bad at all.


"Send me a postcard,
drop me a line,
Stating point of view.
Indicate precisely what you mean to say
Yours sincerely, Wasting Away.
Give me your answer, fill in a form
Mine for evermore.
Will you still need me,
Will you still feed me,
When I'm sixty-four?
Whoo!"

~the Beatles~

Between every two pines is a doorway to a new world. ~John Muir

Wordless Wednesday: Droplets from Pinecrest

LOVE OF PLACE

I've never been outside the United States except for a trip to Vancouver and Victoria on Vancouver Island in Canada..., oh, and a trip over the border to Tijuana once so we could say we had been in Mexico.
A few years ago we were given a very special gift cruise to Alaska( from our family ) for our 40th wedding anniversary which was one of the highlights of our lives. The family took turns staying up here and taking care of the farm. We could not have left if they hadn't been here to watch over everything for us.
The Prospector and I are not "well traveled" folks. We will probably never see Europe, China or Africa, but that's ok. You see, when you have a small farm and farm animals you can't just leave whenever you like. We also have two very old dogs that don't travel very well, and are kind of spoiled ( they sleep inside at night, yes they do. ). We have one neighbor within sight( although at quite a distance ) and lots of "carpe diem" beasts waiting in the bushes that wait for us to leave our animals to their skillful predatory ways.
So we take DAY TRIPS; and in this beautiful state, you don't have to go very far to find somewhere that takes your breath away. You just have to get in the car and drive a few miles in any direction. Sunday we did just that.

Sunday morning we drove south on Highway 49 to Sonora and then east into the mountains to PINECREST LAKE. The Prospector was "scouting a campsite" for next summer's fishing trip. Yes, it's an obsession on his part, but it's also a necessity because reservations open for July camping in February and you can't find a good , long multi car, trailer, people site in 10 feet of snow. So we took a drive up to the lake for the day and what a beautiful day it was. Don't ask me why the boys don't scout the "perfect" site during the summer, WHEN THEY ARE CAMPING, but I think it's part of some family ritual that goes way back before I was a part of all this. It's all about the quest for the "Perfect" place to spend that one week in the summer with fathers, sons and daughters. It's about TRADITION.

The Prospector walked through the empty campground (that is closed for the season) and looked for long, open sites that could accommodate 4 vehicles, a tent trailer, a boat and 7 to 10 people. I took pictures with my new Nikon (I should be getting a kickback from Nikon for all this free advertising) and walked, with wonder, around this beautiful place that has always been such a part of our lives.
We camped up here ,when we were first married, 40 some years ago, and as much as I give my husband and his brother a bad time about all the pre-planning and strategic groundwork that surrounds this week in the summer, I do understand. The rivers and lake are so clear, the mountains so close, the trees reach heaven and the world of Pinecrest Lake shines a little more brightly than most other places on earth...., and then, of course, there's the family history. Their father brought them here. The prospector brought our sons here...., and, for the first time last summer, our son brought his first born up here. The tradition continues. It's important..., its about continuity, love of a special place and memories.

( Please click on photos for a closer view. )

Hitchcock Pales in Comparison

When I drove home from the Bay Area yesterday, after a wonderful day of Thanksgiving and an overnighter at my sister's before driving back home, I experienced something I will not soon forget.
These pictures were taken on hiway 12 going east into Lodi, Ca. This is the great central valley fly zone for migrating birds. At this time of the year I usually see a wonderful ,varied group of birds flying south for the Winter; but this was an all out assault on the visual and auditory senses. These are STARLINGS; thousands, upon thousands of Starlings.
Please click on the photos to get the larger and fuller effect.
The cacophonous sound that this many birds make together is even more horrendous than what one remembers in the scary old movie called THE BIRDS. The director of that movie, Alfred Hitchcock, must have experienced this "valley" phenomenon before he started filming his movie.

I saw what I thought was dust from a distance. This is peat dirt country and when the wind picks up the dirt from the plowed fields, or a tractor is moving across a field, you will see dirt and dust for miles, but as I got closer I realized that this was not dust. The whole sky was filled with birds, moving, undulating in waves, like a huge cloud blown by unseen wind. I grabbed my small point and shoot and started blindly taking pictures out of the window, but soon realized that I was taking my life in my hands on a very busy highway and decided to pull off the road. Several other people did the same thing.
As I rolled down the window, I heard the sound of these birds. It was something you can't believe. The family that had stopped behind me had a young boy who jumped out of their car and ran around yelling and pointing in amazement.
I got out and reached for my NIKON, in the back seat, and started taking pictures. These that are posted are the best. I took at least 30 or 40 shots.
In the middle of "the day after Thanksgiving" traffic, a few of us "crazy" folks were stopped on the side of a very busy highway, looking up into the sky, cameras flashing, oblivious to huge trucks, speeding cars and bird-droppings; sharing a sight in nature that some will never see or, probably like some of the people that continued to drive, care about.
Did you see us as you drove by? Did you see the small boy jumping up and down? There are still some of us that have to stop and look..., and hear, when Nature does something amazing and wonderful. There is still a small child inside of me, with a sense of wonder that has never gone away.
The next time you see something that you think you will never see again, take the time to stop and look. It is a human right that isn't written down in some law book somewhere. It's a gift that waits for you and will live in your amazed heart forever.

Happy Thanksgiving

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow. ~Melody Beattie


GIVE THANKS AND HAVE A WONDERFUL HOLIDAY.

Finding happiness

Things that make me happy....,
A beautiful flower...

Sunlight on a cold day.

Chickens....,
a rooster crowing.

The sound of coyotes at night.....
An owl hooting in a nearby oak tree.
A small verbal greeting from a goat....

Grandchildren
laughing.
..., laughing with friends.
The sparkle filled feeling
that laughter leaves inside of you.

Finding something
unexpected.

Clean sheets.....,
drying outside.
Wind....
blowing leaves around.
Seeing the sunrise every morning.

...and flowers that make fireworks.

A very good no guilt Pumpkin Pie

This is for all of you who love pumpkin pie but are already feeling guilty about the holiday eating binge that is about to overtake your life. This is a Weight Watchers recipe. It doesn't have a crust but it does taste like the rest of a regular pumpkin pie and it has passed the Prospector's taste test. The best part is that you can have a BIG piece of it for 5 Pts.(that's how they refer to calories these days, it makes sense if you have a magic "points finder".) A regular Pumpkin Pie is 9 pts. for a very skinny, itsy bitsy, teenie weenie slice. So it's a great way to have your dessert and eat it too. Enjoy!
(I added some orange zest and an extra 1/2 tsp. each of cinnamon and nutmeg. I only used 1 tsp. of vanilla. Check it at 45 mins. because 50 mins. was was a little too long for my oven.)

I also think that it's beautiful! I sprinkled it with some powdered sugar and plan to take a new one with us for Thankgiving Dinner. This one has, of course, been tampered with by now. it will definitely be gone by next Thursday.

Doesn't this look good?..., and here's a little secret. It won't hurt to put a dab ( scoop, dollop, etc.) of light Cool Whip on top. You won't feel deprived at all. I promise.

Seeing Light

I've been alone all morning.
Puccini is playing softly, from the corner of the room.
Outside the fog wraps itself around the canyons below the house. I'm safe and quiet..., I will leave some footprints on paper....

Seeing light

Peace and time are candlesticks
On my windowsill.
I know my ebbing candle shines,
But now I watch it's glow
And know it will not last forever.
I see it's beauty in the flame
And form of melting wax
As it slowly disappears.

I understand, now,
That only my thoughts are forever
And what comes is the Wind.
I wrap my hand around the flame
Because the Robin is at my window
And spring is coming soon.

Wordless Wednesday on Thursday night after three tries.

Autumn Sunset

Blogger did it again. I posted these photos last night and Blogger left all of it as a "draft" so it never showed up on my blog. This morning I tried to publish the post and I got this message that said I waited too long to publish. WHAT? Sometimes I feel like it's a blind study and someone is logging my response for some future book on "The frustrations of Blogging" . Why these things happen, I have no idea. When you ask them, they don't have an answer in "known issues" but they refer you to other people out there who have had the same problem...., AND NEVER GOT AN ANSWER. So I did the whole post again even though it's Thursday....,

..., and now the writing is centered as if I wanted to write a poem. So in honor of this "program", with a mind of it's own, I will include a poem, hoping that the photos will magically appear.

"Listen...With faint dry sound,
Like steps of passing ghosts,
The leaves, frost-crisp'd,
Break free from the tree

and fall."

~Adelaide Crapsey, 1878-1914, November Night~


...,and again Thursday night. Third time's a charm?

All is well ; except I forgot the persimmons.

This was a quick trip to see Mom. Just wanted to see her for myself and give her a hug. She's doing so well . She told me that she would probably stay at the care home for a while because she feels so much better, now, and doesn't have to worry about anything like she did at home. We knew that she was having a very hard time trying to take care of everything ,and herself, when she was living at the house but she didn't want to admit it and she really didn't want to leave her home. So all is going well ..., very well indeed. She's happy and well taken care of . What more could we ask for.

I stayed at my sister's house during this visit because I was invited and because Mom's house is kind of lonely to be in without her. It was so nice to be in a home filled with people coming and going, and dogs. I felt very much at home. I had my own beautiful blue bedroom , with a VERY comfortable bed and ATTACHED BATH. That's important when you're my age and get up a lot at night( if you know what I mean ). The three dogs and Ben( my sister's youngest son ) kept me laughing and, all in all, I had a wonderful visit.
My sister's home is lovely and relaxing. I had such a good time. Good food, conversation, and "just chill'in".
Her oldest boy had 4 wisdom teeth pulled on Friday so he was in a lot of pain and I didn't get to see him much, but his girlfriend ( a real Florence Nightingale ) took such good care of him that he has no choice but to get better fast.
The Persimmon tree in sis's front yard (on the bottom middle of the picture above) was breathtaking. The morning I left "the attorney/ farmer dude"( my sister's husband ) went out and picked some for me to take home to the prospector, who loves persimmons and eats them like candy. Somewhere along the Delta highway I remembered that they were still sitting on my sister's kitchen counter.
Agh!@#&*#!!

I'm glad to be home. Now we'll have to find a Persimmon tree around here somewhere. Maybe the farmer's market is still open. The prospector is having a "cow" over the FORGOTTON FRUIT. Like he never forgets anything? Come on!

The Road Home

These are photos of the San Joaquin Delta area that I drive through everytime I go to see Mom. It's so beautiful and there is always something to look at and take pictures of. Most of these pictures were taken on Brannan Island Rd. that cuts off the main highway(160) and comes back into highway 12 west of Lodi. It's my favorite short cut, coming or going. The top left photo is a bridge on Peltier Rd. in the wine country of Lodi . between interstate 5 and highway 99. If you live in Northern California these are wonderful "day trips" to take this time of the year. The little photo of the Pine tree is on the road up to my house and is the best part of the "Road Home".

A Day in the Pine Grove

I got home from the Bay Area yesterday afternoon and today I had plans to meet friends up-country in Pine Grove. I worked in this town for five years at the elementary school. Always loved it here.
The weather is unseasonably warm this week and I'm really ready for winter, but it was beautiful driving up to my friends place. She lives in a lovely area above Pine Grove and down a long one lane road. We met at her house and then drove back into town for lunch.

This is the Blue Moon Cafe where we ate lunch. It's a new place with very good food. I had a salad with prawns. It was delicious! We enjoyed the company of old friends and got caught up on families, politics and opinions about all kinds of things. It was such fun.
We went back to our friends house and had dessert and tea..., talking and laughing about all kinds of things. It was such a relaxing day. Good friends are a gift.

Tomarrow I will have photos of my weekend visit.

The Last Roses of Summer

Only in California do the roses sometimes last through the end of the year. Well, maybe in Oregon on the coast or in the south. I've never been to any of the southern states, but here in California we have a lot of places where the cold is never cold enough and the snow rarely touches the ground.
These roses are still growing and blooming, even though it's November. Hey...., wait a minute! That photo on the bottom right is not a rose. It's Viburnum caprifoliaceae. Well now...., how did that happen? The leaves are turning their beautiful red and some of the leaves have fallen off already. What is it doing? It a gorgeous bush in the Fall because of it's color, but it's not suppose to be blooming.It's even got two very small, new, green leaves underneath the flower. Poor little flower, we had a couple of days of warm weather and it thought summer was here again. Can you imagine the effort that was made to produce that flower, when the plant was going dormant. You've got to give that bush credit. It's hard to keep up with the "roses" of this world. So, I think it deserves to be in this group picture. Too bad some of that monumental effort can't rub off on the "leaners" of this world, the ones who whine and complain and don't do anything to make things better. Maybe there is a little miracle going on here and there is a bigger meaning to this. I'm always amazed at the small things that happen in nature without an evident reason.

From now on I'm going to call this plant the "Obama" rose. It made a huge effort and it won it's place in the rose garden. Now we'll have to see if the effort makes a difference. I hope so.

Almost Wordless

"Only when the last tree has died and the last river been poisoned and the last fish been caught will we realize we cannot eat money." ~Cree Indian Proverb~

Zoom in, Zoom out..., and turn off immediately in the event of malfunction.

I have been so busy learning to use my new camera that little else is getting done around here. This Nikon D40 is such an amazing camera. It does all kinds of things that my little point and shoot couldn't. (Sorry little Canon but it's true).
I took the photo above on "auto closeup", with a small tripod so the camera would be very steady. Look how sharp the picture is. I bought this pair of pillow cases a few days ago at an antique store. They are so beautiful; hand embroidered and crocheted. I think the camera really details all the lovely work that someone did on these, a long time ago.

These are chrysanthemums that I brought in from the garden and have in a vase on the table. I took two pictures and then used Picassa to blend them into a collage. I used the "auto closeup" on these too. Picassa is so much fun. That's a white spider mum superimposed onto a bright orange mum. I'm probably more excited about this than you are, but it is pretty isn't it?

This was taken with the Nikon 55-200mm 1:4-5.6G Lens that came as an extra lens with my camera. It takes pictures across our canyon so much better than I was ever able to before. I took this photo as the sun was setting. It was very cloudy, but the sun came through the clouds for a few minutes and I got this shot with the last of the sun lighting this hill even though the rest of the hills and sky were getting very dark.
I watched a video this afternoon that came with the camera. They said that I should always use the"auto landscape" for shots like this because the colors of the trees and sky will be stronger and brighter. I didn't know that when I took this shot. I just used "Automatic". So I learned something that I can try next time. Still, I'm please with the results.

I have so much to learn about this camera but I'm having fun with it. It's a real learning curve. This is good for my age-challenged mind. I have to keep those good brain cells from dying for lack of anything to do. Plus I take a hike every day, which is good for me too. I use to look at a walk as something I "had" to do. Now, with the camera around my neck, I'm on a quest. I always wanted to go on a "vision quest" and now , in a matter of speaking, I go on one everyday.

No dreams last night, that I can remember, but the one about my dad has stuck with me. It's like the many photos I take everyday, This one is as clear and focused as if I had taken a video of it or a string of still shots. Dreams are so amazing. Our minds are constantly reacting and collecting the information of our lives and we think we understand. Then a dream appears that tells us that we really don't understand at all. It's like we live a dream within another dream and when the journey ends maybe we'll just become a part of some dream that we dreamed......,
Ok, it's time to go to bed. I know! That was just way too spacy for all of you. It was for me too. Goodnight.

A Dream

I had a dream about my father early this morning. ...,

It's been almost a year and a half since he died. I never had a dream about him after he passed. It seemed as though he just disappeared from the earth and my sight. The only place that I found him was in my heart and in all the memories, good and bad, that lingered in his place. And then, this morning I had this dream....

He was waiting for us in some kind of park. There were other people walking around. It was a fair or outdoor show. I saw him over near the wall of a building behind a planter that had beautiful flowers blooming in it. He seems to be waiting. He was just standing there, smiling just a little. I walked over and asked him if he was all right. He said "Yes" and we hugged each other. I could feel his bones through his skin as I held him. I felt short, as if I were a young girl. I was hugging him around his waist instead of his shoulders. He hugged me back but he seemed frail and weak. He asked me where everyone was and I said "I'm not sure." We looked around but couldn't see anyone we knew. So we just waited there together and I held on to his hand.

That was all. I woke up. When I went into the kitchen I still felt like I wasn't quite awake; that I was still somewhere else. My husband came in and looked at me. "Mornin', you look like you need a cup of coffee." I told him that I had a dream about Dad. He came over, gave me a hug and said "Are you all right?". I held on to him and cried for a few minutes then grabbed a kleenex, poured myself a cup of coffee and sat down on the couch.
I sat there for quite a while, sipping coffee and thinking about the dream. I think it was a good dream and that Dad is Ok. I just don't know why this dream came now...., or why we dream..., or what the dream meant. Maybe nothing. Maybe everything.

Goat One-upmanship: Bart & Brownie

"I'm the biggest, most wonderful and handsome goat on Three Dog Farm. I command respect and I take care of business. I'm brave and I can jump higher than any of the other goats. I'm the king of the pasture and head of the pack."

"Yah? But does he have a horn? I don't see any horns. I have a horn. Well..., it's not very big and I don't know what happen to the other one, but I can butt better than any of the other goats, as long as I lean to the right. I may not be the biggest but I'm unique. Bart tries to push his weight around here, but we know who the real "head" master is, don't we?"