Finding Myself Inside of the Rain

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Morning Rain 
by Tu Fu

"A slight rain comes, bathed in dawn light.

 I hear it among treetop leaves before mist arrives.

Soon it sprinkles the soil

 

and,windblown, follows clouds away.

Deepened colors grace thatch homes for a moment.

 Flocks and herds of things wild

 

glisten faintly. 

Then the scent of musk opens across

half a mountain -- and lingers on past noon." 

Yes, the rain has come.

And I find myself inside of it.

Do you see?

Wordless Wednesday: Tomatoes and "Beans"

Finally... something in the sky besides blue.

Yesterday we had a cold, windy day... WITH CLOUDS. Just a few of them, but we're hopeful.

It was lovely and a sign that the weather is changing.
This morning we woke up to frost and 28 degrees. We are told that rain will be here by the end of the week. We will reserve dancing in the streets until we see the wet pavement.
My sister is here for a long weekend. She chose to spend her birthday with me. We have had a good time. She is celebrating the BIG one (one of the big ones if you keep living)... 60 years. This is my LITTLE sister. She can't be 60! This is just not possible.
 Maybe we got confused and added a decade by mistake. Could that have happen?
Yes, that must be it. I'm really in my 50's and she is just starting her second quarter of a century. I think I have figured this out, as I write, only... wait.... I can't be 57 either, because that means I would have given birth when I was around 15 years old and I don't recall that happening .
Suck it up, Farmlady
You're old and your sister is right behind you to prove the reality of it.
Seven years always looked like a big difference, but not any more.  Now, it's my sons who show me, by their ages, that there is no mistake. They are too old for me to justify saying that I had them as an unwed teenage mother. So, we will leave this were it is. I don't want to insult all the women who were mothers at 15 and I don't want to rationalize the reasons that I wasn't.
I'm heading for my 70's and Sis is just starting her 6th decade.
We will just have to slow down... together... and learn to knit. Oh, we did that already. OK.
Well... it's time to embrace "senior citizen" status.
Acceptance is the key to long life. That's what they say. 
So, we have shortened our shopping trips. We take naps.
We have salads instead of Cheeseburgers and Fries.
We wimp out and use Ibuprofen when we need it.
Life is still good and we are still sister friends.
Can't ask for more than that.
Happy Birthday Sis.

A Riot of Reflection

This morning I drank coffee and started the second chapter of Small Wonders by Barbara Kingsolver.

This chapter is called Saying Grace and contemplates the grandness of the Grand Canyon and our Fat Brother Mentality. It's worth the read.

 

 I've discovered why I like multi-grain Cheerios when I don't like cold cereal much at all. It's because it goes with my house and my dogs. If I throw in a few chocolate Cheerios ( Yes, there is such a thing.) then my cereal would match Cutter completely. I know this is a bit OCD but it's just the way I can be sometimes. Since I don't like chocolate for breakfast I will just go with the multi grained, multi colored little O's that taste good and the milk that matches my carpet. Life is about the little things. Like having the right pen to write with or the right toothbrush. We live in a society that allows us these idiosyncrasies.

Barbara Kingsolver would say "It is possible to move away from a vast, [unknown] by delving into it deeper and deeper. You can look at all the parts of a terrible thing until you see that they're assemblies of smaller parts, all of which you can name, and some of which you can heal or alter, and finally the terror that seemed unbearable becomes manageable." 

The "smaller parts" that I divide my life into are how I manage not to become overwhelmed with the strangeness of the world out there. A world that I sometimes find scary and uncontrollable. It's in the act of seeing the cereal that blends with the dog, that blends with the carpet and  blending with the world around me that gives me a sense of stability and calm. I cannot feed the starving masses of the world but I can feed and take care of my family and the animals I choose to adopt. When I see the order of the smaller, I can, then ,(at the very least) look at the bigger more frightening picture. I'm able to create a space where my life is in control and then the media driven mass hysteria doesn't seem so... well, hysterical.

I can learn to move into the bigger world view by taking small steps that teach me to see clearly before I'm told that the world is slowly turning into climate changing warm water, protesting unrest and countries that wish to destroy us. 

So I turn off the TV, contemplate my cereal and drink my coffee until something happens, 

Some day I may not be talking about color coordinated cereal because there will be a bigger, scarier picture.

Life will play itself out . 

There will be no end to the disasters that will befalls us. ( So say the MEDIA.)

But... there's good news.

There are only 32 days until Valentines Day and the stores are filled with LOVE.

There are 96 "la"s in the song "Deck the Halls".  and...

 You can buy chocolate sardines at Bergdorf Goodmans ( six for $45.)

and there is a Prius for everyone... Even one that plugs in.

Really? Everyone?

"What a world. What a world."

Wordless Wednesday: Brownie and Murphy... sunshine and comfort.

A win and a loss... but everything is Ok.

I found out that I won a giveaway from Linda Lanese's Felting Crafts blog and today it arrived in the mail.
This is the Robson and Ekarius book called THE FLEECE & FIBER SOURCEBOOK.

 This is a beautiful book and I want to thank Linda for having the giveaway and sending me this book.

The book shows you over 200 animals and the fiber they produce. There is a section for sheep, goats, camelids (alpaca, llamas etc.) and other critters like dogs, bison and rabbits. It shows all the breeds and were they came from. This book is fascinating. There are stories about how these animals came to America and the history of each. The photos are lovely.

I feel very lucky to have won this book. Thanks again Linda.
Be sure to stop by and visit her blog. She has so many good ideas. Each post is filled with felting possibilities.

We can't win all the time but it's nice when we do. Today was  one of those days when you do something that you don't want to, but you know it's the only right thing to do.
As you know our goat, Brownie, has had a time of it. Last year he had an accident  and lost his horn. The stress of this, the resulting bout with Coxcidia and his weak condition were bad enough but the rejection from the other goats was worse. Especially from Bart, who would not leave Brownie alone.
A few weeks ago we found Brownie in a corner of the lower south fence. He was all twisted around with his head underneath his body and he couldn't get up. His horn was bleeding again and he was in a state of panic. The Prospector finally got him untangled and upright but Brownie was not doing well. He could hardly walk. We don't know exactly what happen but we suspect that the goats were playing  around and he got knocked over, again. He's so fragile. He usually walks away when they are playing but he probably got cornered this time. At any rate, he was down and couldn't get up.
We separated him from the other goats and the vet has been out here twice. He has a form of animal rickets that makes him very weak. We have been giving him grain with vitamin  A and D in it. We also gave him his first round of shots called Bose for white muscle disease. He's improving... slowly.
The area he is in won't be much protection when the rain comes (If it comes at all this year.) and he would have to have more shelter soon. We couldn't let him in with Bart and Freckles because they would butt him and probably knock him off of his feet again. The vet bills were rising and building another shelter was too expensive. So we had to make a hard decision.
We have given Bart and Freckles to a farmer in Calaveras County. He came and picked them up this afternoon. Now, it will just be Brownie and Murphy here together. Murphy has always been good with Brownie. He's kind of protective about Brownie.
We also didn't have a big enough area for these four goats to graze in. A bigger area would have meant more fencing which we couldn't afford, so we have been feeding them with expensive grass hay to supplement their diet.
Now there will only be two goats and Brownie is happily back in the goat house tonight with Murph'. I will miss Bart and Fleckles but I know that this was the best thing to do. They are fine and the woman told me that she has some of Bart's relatives at her farm. We all got these goats from the same breeder.
Now we can take care of Brownie and not worry about him being hurt again. Murphy will still be my magical goat. He will work his magic on Brownie and maybe Brownie will recover completely.
I feel a little sad, tonight,  but I know it will be OK. .

Winter? I don't think so.

I've taken the snow effect off of my blog. It just doesn't look right when I post photos that look like this.

I haven't cut the lavender back because it blooming like crazy and the bees are all over it.

I just can't cut the bush back with all these bees having such a great time.
Does this look like Winter to you?

 I also decided to wash the windows.

I pulled the chairs and table away, took the screens off and washed them separately and used the sprayer on the hose to get all the cobwebs off before I cleaned the windows with ammonia and water.  The sprayer is like a "fair warning" to bugs and spiders  before the soap and ammonia hits.
Look nice and clean don't they?
Come on rain. I'm being really in your face about this.
Then I sensed someone was watching me. I turned... and right behind me up in the eaves of the porch, guess whooo was giving me the eye.

"Can't you do this at night, when I'm gone? I was sleeping and you woke me up."
"Hi little guy." I replied, "I forgot you were up there. You haven't been here for a few days."
"Well..." he said, "I've been hunting and it's a lot of hard work. So please stop all the spraying and cleaning and let me sleep."
I could tell that he wasn't a very happy little owl and then, to demonstrate his annoyance,  he gave me his fiercest look.
He tries to look mean. I almost have to laugh because he's so little. I guess the little mice and ground animals don't laugh when he swoops down on them but, well... he's so cute when he tries to act tough.

I told him I was sorry but I needed to finish the windows. I told him it would only be a few more minutes.
He waited... and then, when I left the porch, he went back to sleep.
Do you see that his left pupil is bigger than his right one? Does anyone know if that's normal or not? I noticed it before. The left pupil is dilated more that the right.
So it's quite apparent that Winter decided to take a vacation this year. I might as well tempt fate and wash some windows. What the heck! You know what they say about this. If you clean your windows or wash your car it will rain... so I'm doing a rendition of a "rain dance". We'll see.
Everything seems to be enjoying the sunny weather.
Carl found himself a warm spot and  looks like he's telling me,
"Don't come any closer to me with that camera, Farmlady. Just leave me be."

And the Paperwhites are blooming.

I find it all kind of strange. What do you think? If this is Winter...
THE CLIMATE

IS DEFINITELY

CHANGING....
And I don't think it's just about us and our carelessness... or emissions.
It's just changing... Something is different.
It's happening quite fast.
I can feel it in the air.
Somethings up...

I have to share this with you.

My friend C, her daughter and C's new little pup, Max, came up from Sacramento for lunch today. Enjoyed the visit so much. Her daughter is visiting from Boston and it was so good to see her again. I watched her grow up in Mendocino, California where C use to live. She has grown into a beautiful and intelligent young lady.
Momma C, you did good. It says something for raising children in a Pigmy Forest. You gave her roots and wings and ... creativity. You painted tennis shoes and built her tree houses. You gave her a magical upbringing and you should be proud.

So, I didn't do a post today for all the entertaining, but tonight I was reading some of my favorite blogs and I have to share this post with you.
I'm sending you over to read Nancy's post. It's wonderful.
 
Go To: http://shepherdsvoice.blogspot.com/2012/01/happy-new-year.html

I hope all of you enjoy this as much as I did.

Happy New Year!

Corgi Cam

Cleaned the house today and helped The Prospector give Brownie his shot. I will tell you about Brownie when I have day that I can do a long post. He's getting better. He had another accident and the traveling vet came to visit. That was two weeks ago. He's receiving special treatment and has his own digs for a while. I will write more later.
Today after I vacuumed and mopped and dusted the house I took a break and went outside with the dogs.
It was another beautiful day. It's almost scary how beautiful it is here.

The Corgi boys greeted me.

"You boys want to play a game?" They looked at me like Corgis do and Carl started to walk away.
I know he was saying, under his breath, "Here comes Farmlady with the camera again."
"Hey, wait. This will be fun, guys. Let's play Corgi Cam. You know I follow you around and pretend I'm one of you and we take picures from a dog point of view. What'a you say. Come on. Give Farmlady a break. She's been in the house all morning. Humor her."

Cutter looked at me and said, "I never played this game before."

"But, OK. Do I get to hold the camera? Do I get to take pictures of you and Carl?"

Carl came on the run. "Oh no you don't. I will do it. I want to be in control of the camera taking."
"Well, Carl," I said, " I think I'm going to let Cutter do this because he hasn't done it before."
Carl got that look on his face that says, "Oh yeah!" So, I told him that Cutter would be the director of this show and he (Carl) would have to live with it.  That's when he disappeared into the bushes.
Cutter followed and we caught this on Corgi Cam.

 And this...

Taking photos from the height of a small dog is as strenuous as vacuuming and mopping. Following Cutter around with the camera and taking photos from his point of view is kind of a feat in itself. ( You didn't really think that I would strap my precious Nikon to Cutter's back did you?)
Well, so far the results were less that wonderful so I called Cutter over to the fence and he saw the cat. That's when things got more interesting.

Carl followed us and both the dogs were preoccupied with Annie, our cat, for quite some time while I sat under the Heavenly Bamboo and wondered what the heck I was doing out here with these silly dogs when I could have taken a nap instead.
Then I called them up on the porch so I could sit down for a little bit. This is when Cutter got a whiff of "You know hoooooo.." up in the corner of the porch. Our little visitor, the Screech Owl, is still resting up there during the day.

 From a Corgi point of view, the little owl is very safe up there. The dogs sniffed and look up there but they didn't bark. The owl quietly watched them until they walked away.
Then it was time to stop the game. My back was hurting and I needed to sit down for a while.

The last "dog cam" shot is a familiar one to the Corgi boys. They are always on the wrong side of this door. They either want out when they are inside, or... they want in when they are outside. It's  a very well know stop for them.

You can tell I reached high and low for something to post about today. It finally came to me at about 9:30  tonight and now I'm done. I'm going to bid you all a fond goodnight because I can't think of anything else to add to this already stimulating post.

Looking at parts... of me.

I never cease to be amazed at Barbara Kingsolver's writing. I am a big fan and I don't read a lot of books. That's a confession that I hate to admit but it's true. I have so many things to fit into my life before I leave this wonderful gift of a world and I can't sit and read when the OWL might come back to the porch and my camera calls me from the shelf. My mind is filled with ideas that will last long beyond my time here... so reading is just another thing on my list that I need or want to do.
But, this morning I was looking at Amazon.com... for fun.
I coughed all night. Took some cough meds about 3:00 a.m. and woke up drowsy. I may be coming down with something.  Then, after two cups of coffee I felt better, so I went to Amazon books to see what I could see.
If you know what I'm talking about, when you bring up this site, Amazon gives you ideas and "recommendations" all around the edges of what you're looking at. This is to make you buy something that you really wouldn't have though of if they hadn't put the notion in your head with little "windows" of opportunity.
*More items to consider... *Related to items you've viewed... *Shop the best books of 2011 store and so on. Knitting, photography, felting, nature, animals,  Dean Koontz ( I love his twisted stories.), Michael Pollan and The Big Ass Book of Crafts by, (OMG), a guy named Mark Montano. Now that's cool. A dude that does crafts... and writes a book about it. Almost doesn't sound real.
So, I was trying to stay focused. I went back and clicked on Barbara Kingsolver-Small Wonders-essays.
They give you a "look inside" the book to tickle you interest.
I read the forward and the first essay. This first story alone told me that I must read this book. It is now winging its way to me. She wrote most of the essays right after 9/11.  for a magazine. It speaks to moving away from the "vast, unbearable pain" of any horrible tragedy in your life. How looking at the parts of a terrible thing, and the little sub stories which come of it, can help you control your pain and begin to heal on a smaller level and make the tragedy a little more manageable.
The first essay is about a family in the Lori tribe in the western province of Lerestan in Iran. They come home from working in the fields to find one of their children missing.
As I'm so easily upset by stories like this, I sometimes don't continue reading. My mind doesn't let go of things. I accumulate. But, something inside of me said, "Read it." Something saw the correlation  to 9/11 and so I continued. I also trust Barbara Kingslover to tell a story with such reason and humanity that I always know I would be less for not reading it.
I would recommend this book if the only written pages in it were the first essay. Please consider this. I sound like the "recommendations" on Amazon.com. but please take a look at the "read inside" on this book and let me know what you think.
I Googled a newspaper article on this real life story and I leave it here as a testament to how far we have pulled ourselves away from Nature and how we think that we are different... but, how very much we are the same.

Iranian toddler found safe in bear's den after 3 days By Reuters, 10/02/01 TEHRAN, Iran -- A mother bear appears to have cared for a missing 16-month-old Iranian toddler who was found safe and sound three days later in the animal's den, the Kayhan newspaper said Tuesday. The child's parents, from a nomadic tribe in western Lorestan province, returned to their tent after working in the fields to find him missing, Kayhan said. Three days later, a search party found the toddler, who it said had probably been breast-fed by a mother bear, in a den about 6 miles from the nomadic settlement. A medical examination showed the toddler was in good health, the daily said.

Happy New Year to my family and friends.

Christmas Day

I won't bore you with lots of pictures of relatives you don't know, but I would like to show you a few. We had such a lovely time and my sister had her home looking so nice.
Remember the Manzanita that she cut when she was up here around my birthday?

Remember how we lined them up and chose the best ones for her to take home?

Well, just look at what she did with them, over her kitchen window.

Really beautiful Sis! I love the lightly sprayed branches and the little lights.

And you even have a little owl perched up there... just like the little visitor on our porch.

Everything sparkled...

And, as Ben and Lily waited for the rest of the family to arrive,

I walked around and took a few pictures.

The entrance hall...  

with the Santos Doll in her glitz and bling.

And, on the wall, a joyful mirror reflecting all the activity of the day.

There were drinks and hors d'oeuvres to nibble on while a wicked game of Candyland was being played in the livingroom.

 Guess who was winning? Look at that sly smile. The Bean won hands down. My grandson BEAT my oldest son. Hard to believe, but he did. The Bean took his Uncle "M" to the cleaners.
Little Bean didn't even try to beat his brother. He sat on the couch and played his own game... by himself.

We had a wonderful dinner and later we had some dessert to top it all off... and candy... and, well, way too much of everything. But over indulging once a year isn't really that bad. Is it? It's Christmas. It's a time of GOOD CHEER... and FAMILY...

lots of CELEBRATING... Christmas Trees and Plum Pudding. Well it wasn't actually Plum pudding. It was Blackberry Pie and Italian Creme Cake... and ice cream... and SEE'S candy.
Oh my, I think I have to go on a diet next week.

Later, in the evening, after everyone was gone, Sis and I sat down with her husband and son to rest a while. I looked over on the sofa and saw... What?
What was this fur, upon fur, up on the back of the sofa?

What furry child is this...who laid to rest... on my sister's couch, is sleeping. I know, that was just wrong wasn't it? I tried to fit the situation into the song. What Child Is This? Greensleeves?  Sorry.
But LOOK! Tis a tired pup named Fozzy Bear.

Glad that everyone was gone and his home was peaceful and quiet again. Now it was time to put the camera down, give Fozzy a rub behind the ear and promise not to invade his home again for a long time to come. Thank you Fozzy Bear. Thank you Sis. It was a wonderful day.