The Agony of Defeat

I went to see my grandson's last game of the season. It wasn't going very well and this picture says it all.

So, before the last inning, Evan's brother, Andrew, stepped in and gave him a pep talk. I love this.

Evan sat on his dad's lap while his brother talked to him. I didn't hear what was said.

They ate some sunflower seeds and I saw Evan shake his head up and down every once in a while.

Finally Andrew said something funny and Evan laughed. It was all good... and even thought they didn't win the game, Evan went back out with his team and finished the game.
I love this wonderful, not always perfect, relationship they have with one another.
This makes my heart happy.

A very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone.

This is the quiet after the storm of Christmas visiting and visitors. Can you hear it? Can you hear the sound of silence? I DO!
One week ago I was eating Cioppino on Christmas Eve.

The Prospector made it. It was sooo good. I can't begin to tell you how good it was... and all I had to do was slice some bread.

Christmas morning we opened presents from Santa, Carl and Cutter. I packed my bags for a two day visit to my sister's to see the family and spread good cheer...that would be presents, a homemade peach trifle and Adult Chocolate Milk (Look it up if you don't know what Adult Chocolate Milk is. You're missing one of life's pleasures if you don't.). The Prospector stayed home with the dogs and the chickens but it was OK with him. It's how we live here. It's how we deal with family that doesn't live down the street or around the corner from us. 

It was a wonderful Christmas day. The house was decorated with Sis's gorgeous holiday loveliness.

Dinner was delicious.
I forgot to take pictures of the dinner... Yes, I was eating the food, not photographing it...
but take my word for it.
It was GOOD.

After dinner we opened some presents. One of mine was a bag of Nonni's cookies... what else.

There were important conversations.

between young and old, about religion and politics...
And funny stories... laughter...

and good coffee.

The Beans found more gifts to open and the alien forces appeared.

Being able to see at night and behind them at the same time.
Amazing little space people from the future... with Camo shirts and a vast knowledge of electronic equipment.

Four handed monsters with computer skills. Scary!

Where did my grandchildren go and where did these alien beings come from?

Everyone relaxed...

That was the kind of Christmas Day it was.

I know this smile.  It's beautiful isn't it?

This is my lovely daughter in law relaxing and enjoying the day... knowing she has the rest of the year off and that Noni is driving back up to the mountain with her little Alien beings for a few days. It's that contented smile of a busy mom who won't know what to do with four or five days of doing anything she wants to do.

On Friday, I packed myself up, picked up the Beans. Off we drove... over the Delta, across the big Central Valley of California, up into the Foothills and up a steep, dirt road... to spend a long weekend with Carl, Cutter and the chickens, in the little farmhouse on the mountain.

Will Noni and the Prospector survive... Stay tuned.

Coming Home

When I left my sister's house last week, I stopped by the cemetery to visit with Mom for a little while.

She is in the Queen of Heaven Cemetery, in Pleasant Hill, CA. It seems easier, now, to come and visit. It has been four years.
The day was lovely. I always sense that if she knows of her surroundings... that she is happy. She has others to talk to... other mothers that were loved too.

Some with small decorations that glitter in the sun.
The Robins were nesting in the Curly Willow tree nearby.

  She would have liked watching them fly about. She loved birds and used to feed all of the feathered creatures that came to our backyard when we were children. She would always leave them warm water on cold winter mornings and line the fence with birdseed. The birdbath would freeze over and she would show us how to take water outside, crack the frozen water, throw it out and pour the warm water into the birdbath so the birds would have water for the day. That was Mom. She cared about everyone.

I said goodbye to her and drove east over the hills , through Antioch and over the river. I was tired. Sis and I had a good time at Art is You in Petaluma but it was time to be home.
 The night before I drove over to see the Beans and my son and daughter in law. So I got to see the boys and take them the silly Halloween glasses that I bought them in Petaluma.
I drove through the Delta and decided to take the Delta loop road instead of going over to the Rio Vista bridge and then east on highway 12. The Delta loop cutoff is a quiet ride along the sloughs and ranches that are situated on peat dirt land between the rivers. There are cows, flocks of sheep and goats with beautiful white guard dogs that shepherd their flocks. I love this drive. It takes a little longer but it's a tranquil side road that I'm getting very comfortable with. Just after Brannon Island State Park on highways 160, there is a road that turns off to the right called (what else) W. Brannon Island Rd. I head across the San Joaquin River onto W. Twitchell Island Rd and follow this road all the way to the Owl Harbor Marina. This is were I cross the slough and  make a few turns left, then right, then left, up onto Jackson Slough Rd, which takes me back to highways 12 and east to Lodi.

 The whole loop is much longer, but I don't like to be out there on those levee roads all day, so this is a short cut to get back on a highway.
My friend, who lives in Isleton, was out of town for a few days, so I didn't stop there. I drove straight home.
When I arrived on the mountain, the Prospector and the Corgi boys were there to greet me. It was so good to be home.
That little family, Mommy, Daddy and the Beans, had just been up here two days before I got home. They had gone to Apple Hill above Placerville and came by to see Papa and the dogs. 
When I walked into the ~guest, computer, art and everything else I can use it for~ room, I noticed a piece of paper on the floor held in place with a big piece of quartz. I picked it up and read it.

You have found this note and when you find the next note you will know who it is from. from ?
I knew the handwriting.
I looked around for another one and there on my computer chair was "the next note".

There are two other notes in this room   Find them.    from?
Well, this was getting fun.
I looked around and found a third note.

This one was in red letters, under the computer mouse. It read,
I WAS AT THIS HOUSE    IN THIS ROOM. WHO AM I?  I LOVE YOU.   FROM AC  
That would be my oldest grandson. He's eight. He is very smart, handsome and , clearly, loves his Noni.
The feeling is mutual.
These letters are worth more than any gold in my gold pan... any money in the bank.
These letters are what makes my life worthy.
I have, in this messy room, drawings and letters from both of my Beans. They are the product of two growing boys that I love more than chocolate. I didn't think I could love a child more than I loved my sons, but it seems that we have the capacity to expand love anytime we need it. It's a renewable resource.
How wonderful!
I will be spending Halloween with my family in a few weeks.
Maybe we'll take Mom a spooky cupcake and the birds can help her eat it.

I carry you in my heart...

 I have proof that they were here. This is the art and drawing table.

And here are my two little "zombies" drinking hot chocolate in the morning. Not quite awake yet...

After a hard day Saturday of digging for gold.

Learning to use a pick axe.... the "right" way... with distance between you and your brother and a firm, two handed grip... and lots of supervision.

And little Bean, who liked just sitting and looking for gold veins in the rock.

Then, we let them start their own hard rock mining project.
Hey, it's free labor. They wanted to do it. Really!

They are digging a tunnel. It may take a while. If they do a good job, we will have our "wine cellar" in a few years. They competed to see who could dig the deepest. Our eight year old Bean won. He was ahead by a nose (That's about an inch and a half.). He measured it with his nose. He's older and very competitive.

They worked hard... no salary... but there were benefits.
They got to pan some concentrates and actually found some gold. What excitement. Papa gave them their own little container for THEIR gold. We want them to carry on the tradition. This is why it's called "Gold Fever". We are starting them young. Future gold hunter's in training.

Well, we do live in "gold" country. Our dirt is lode bearing. We have a real gold mine on our property which we closed up because it was unsafe... but it produced a lot of gold before WWII.

The other benefit was a ride in Papa's wagon attached to the "three wheeler". Papa took them up, up, up into the hills on a dirt road and down to the main road and back up again.
 I told them it was better than Disneyland because it was free and you didn't have to stand in line. "Better than Disneyland" might have been a stretch, but they loved the ride.

 Coming up from the main road...

 They couldn't wait to start digging again. Really! They caught the "fever". They are definitely our grandchildren. When I went out to say it was time to eat... their dad was panning, the boys were digging and our oldest was riding around on the 3 wheeler. All having a good time.

So, later, we cleaned them up before bed.

Let them do more artwork and mug for Noni's camera without picking their nose.

"Hey", Noni said, "No fingers up the nose."

Then The Bean started teasing me. Every time I would go to take a picture of him, he would pretend to pick his nose. Rascal!! I threatened him with a haircut and he stopped.
Little Bean was still in the bath getting scrubbed by his mom. He fell asleep shortly after the bath.
The black smudge on the Bean's face is from his Saturday morning baseball game. He didn't want to wash it off so we washed around it on both cheeks. I thought they only did that on football players, but what do I know.


They're gone now. I miss them. Why are the Prospector and I so tired?
They were saying that they couldn't make it up here again next weekend, on Mother's Day.
 I said... it's OK. This was the best Mother's Day they could have given me.
Oh, there was one other time.  It was May 12, 1968.  I brought our first child home from the hospital on Mother's Day. That was a day to remember and the first Mother's day for me.

So, I will enjoy Mother's Day with my memories of this weekend. It was a great weekend and I was reminded of an old poem  that e.e.cummings wrote. It was about one person, but I like to spread it further, to my whole family. It's a long poem but the ending goes;
"...here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart [s]
(i carry it [them] in my heart)"

Find the whole poem here:

(Oh... and my daughter in law and I snuck away from the guys for a few hours and drove into Sutter Creek and went SHOPPING. Girls gotta have their fun too. )

Things that go bump in the night... are only children in disquise.

I arrived at my sister's, last Monday afternoon, and settled in.

My upstairs bedroom was charming, as usual, and all was well.
Tuesday we "shopped 'til we dropped" We had shoes to buy for an upcomming trip, that I will talk about in a separate post.
We spent a glorious morning in a shoe store called Designer Shoe Warehouse or DSW in Dublin. This is a shoe lover's paradise. It's almost overwhelming to the inexperienced shoe devotee. It's hard to stay focused when they have YOUR SIZE in so many different kinds of shoes and at REALLY GOOD PRICES.

We exercised some self control and bought shoes that will be good protection in 40 degree, rainy weather. (That's a hint about the trip.)
Wednesday was the BIG day... the reason for the journey to see my family. It was all about the Beans (my grandsons) and HALLOWEEN.
There was excitement in the air.

It was a couple of hours before dark and guess who hadn't decided what costume he wanted to wear? First he wanted to go "as himself". We talked about this... about how this was a night of transformation and creativity. He listened, but wasn't convinced that he wanted to go as anyone but himself.
 On Tuesday night I brought a wig and a mask with me to see if he could come up with something good. Some "props", as it were.
It didn't quite work. The wig and the mask were all too big... too much. Yikes!!

 Too "scary movie"... too " I can't see where I'm going."

 Too ROCK STAR...

Too sinister... for a seven year old.

SOOOO...

He left for his bedroom and came back with more of a "pirate" look... or "goth...punk...hippy" combo. Not too bad!  It was better, but needed refining.
Then, as all creative little children usually do. He changed his mind, again and made a final choice. He got an old sheet from his mom. We cut some eye and arm holes in it and he was finally ready to met the street goblins as A GHOST.
I was so glad that he decided on something. It was all about being creative and he wanted to come up with the idea himself. He was very pleased with the old sheet ghost. It just goes to show you how important it is to let a child have some leeway and some (a few!) choices when it's not a critical, life or death, situation. The Bean was so proud of his creation. He felt like it was a night for he and his brother to make a statement about what they thought HALLOWEEN represents and being someone different. The Bean did.
 He will probably be protesting about some inequities of education some day. He and his brother are very determined little beans and, sometimes, they stand their ground like stubborn mules. That is a familiar behavior in this family... like some other little boys I knew... a long time ago.

 Latter, Dad and the boys hit the street. ready for action.
 Little Bean was a pirate for the evening and he was ready.

 

This was his own idea of a PIRATE... a creatively torn shirt and glow bracelets made into a buccaneer's warning system and holding his loot bucket with his Captain... hook. He even had an eye patch. It was a bright and wonderful costume. He glowed in the dark.

Darkness fell. The fog moved in and....

 My Daughter-in-law's fog making machine, on the porch, turned my old childhood home into another world... we almost disappeared from the street completely.

as our little goblins disappeared into the mist. Robbin and I finally got the fog machine under control and it was a great success.

The Pirate ship waited for their return and the world, for a few short hours, turned into a happy place of beautiful princesses, ghosts, goblins, strange beings of unknown origin... and neighbors that stopped to say hello and visited with Robbin and I. It was a night of enjoyment and fun.

I think that my Mother was there too... in spirit. She loved Halloween. She would have been so happy to see the house all decorated like this.

 Even the jack-o-lanterns looked pleased... in a spooky kind of way.

I took my place, on the porch and gave out candy...as I have done so many times before.

It was a wonderful evening.

 Help yourself to a piece of candy. 

Hope you all had a Happy Halloween.