Happy Birthday Baby Bean

Hi Baby Bean.....

Remember when you were only 3 years old?

Remember when we found slugs at Strandwood school?

Remember when you told me that you had bigger 'matos at your house?... and walked up the hill, with Noni, above the chicken house?

And made this face.....

For the camera?

 You're 4 years old today..... Where did the year go? 
 We wish you a big, wonderful, gummy worm and 'mato day, big boy. Have fun! We love you and we send lots of tickles and sunshine wishes down to you.
Lots of hugs and love to you, Noni & Papa 

Cutter Talks About Christmas and Other Things....

Hi, It's Cutter here....

Merry Christmas! This is my first holiday dog post in my new "good" home. I'm a year old now and everything has been really great.... until Farmlady got sick. See these bags under my eyes. This is because I have to monitor all her activities. 

At first it was fine because she was really sick and when she took her medicine all she did was sleep. Now she's feeling better and look at this mess....

She sits at the dining table almost all day and makes Christmas cards and other stuff. There's glue and glitter everywhere. Glitter doesn't even taste good.

She took these pictures of cards that she made yesterday.... for some of her friends. I don't see one with my name on it. I have been trying to clean up after her and all I get is maybe a biscuit and a "Don't touch that, Cutter!". She makes a mess and then goes over to the couch and practices her knitting. She says this is called Ribbing. It looks like something good to chew on.... to me.

She gets all excited about this knitting. I've never seen her like something so much except when she takes Carl and I for a walk or when she's making cookies or cheese. By the way....walking has been slim lately and today it's all wet outside. I don't like this wet stuff. I just sit on the porch and watch for the cat, so I can bark at her. She must not like wet stuff either because I don't see her when it's wet out there.
Yesterday, Farmlady made something long with ribbons that I kept trying to grab. It has pictures on it  and more glitter. She says it's about "memories" of a trip to a place called Montana. She called it a GARLAND.

 She told me that if I grabbed any of this she would put me on the porch for a while. It was all laid out on the ironing board and hanging over the edge... I just wanted to grab the sparkley thing on the end. Just because she's sick she doesn't have to be cranky. 
The cards are nice. They have more sparkely stuff on them.

 Farmlady seemed happy with them. She smiled at me and said she needed to do some more. 
I think that she needs to lay down and rest so I can get in a little shut eye myself....

I let her have my bedroom since she's been sick. I've been sleeping in my crate in the other bedroom were she and the Prospector usually sleep. The coughing was keeping everyone awake so we traded. It's nice. It's a bigger room and because the Prospector sleeps with the window open, I can hear the Coyotes, at night, sometimes.


"Christmas is coming." That's what Farmlady says.... and then she always adds,  "with or without me."
I don't really understand it all but I think it's a good thing. We have a tree... in the house and there are lights outside with different colors. I like this at night. It's not so scary. 
Farmlady has been in the kitchen more again and I heard her tell the Prospector that she's feeling better. She also said that she wishes her two sons would call her. That sounded like a little bit of sadness in her voice so I thought I would say it, here, just in case they are reading this.
I guess that's all I have to say. Carl is sleeping. He can sleep a lot...

He's my uncle, you know. He's two. He can get cranky like Farmlady, but I like him. When I run around him in circles and jump on him, he gives me "the look" and growls a little. I have learned a lot from him. He's my best friend.
  Well, time for lunch and then I think I will go lie down for a while and catch a few....  
Merry Christmas everyone. May you all find  lot's of biscuits in your stockings. 

Intimations of Life Without Christmas

Silly me! Christmas is almost here, and other than a few ornaments and what was handy in some boxes in the closet, this is what it will be this year.
I got a viral infection that has wasted a whole week and almost wasted me. It started with a small headache and loosing my voice. It turned into a monster that wouldn't let me breath and coughing that almost did me in. By yesterday I said "I give." and went to the hospital in Elk Grove to see my doctor. I started running a fever.
I wrote this poem for him....although I didn't take it with me, so he didn't actually see it.

Please Doctor.... Make me well

Christmas is a coming.
I've got so much to do...
The cookies need some baking 
and all the gifts bought too.
I can't be sick much longer. 
It's not the time of year.
I haven't finished anything. 
Please kick me in the rear.
Give me all the medicine
that you know will make me well.
Because the season is coming fast 
and, Oh, I feel like Hell.
Just one magic potion
to make my body right.
Just one magic potion 
to let me see the light.
I promise I will write a letter,
with cookies, to your boss,
And tell them you're the best darn "doc"
in the whole entire Hosp'.

(OK, that last line is kind of lame. I will work on it.)
_______________
The Prospector drove this wretched person down to her appt. The doctor listened, poked and did some tests and sent me home with antibiotics, Codeine cough medicine and Albuterol inhaler. He told me that I shouldn't have waited so long to come in. I was borderline. (I've known that for years.)
Today I feel...... better. Kind of.
Silly me. I thought I wasn't going to get better. It's hard to be positive when you can't breath.
I have this small thought inside that is getting larger, as I grow older. It's like a window with old distorted glass. I'm looking into it and I see my reflection. Behind me is my mother. She couldn't breath either.
At some point in our lives we see this reflection of what lies ahead... and it's so scary we can't even say it's name.
I'm so glad Christmas is coming..... Maybe it will snow.

Wordless Wednesday: "I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year." ~ Charles Dickens (1812-1870),

Places that make me pause for thought

If you're lucky, once in a lifetime, you will live somewhere that makes your heart sing. For me the little town of Volcano, CA. does this.

This is the quintessential little town. It's north of Pine Grove and east of Sutter Creek in an old gold mining area. There are 100 (oops! I guess 3 more people move into town) folks in this charming town and it's at the 2053 ft. elevation. It snows here but usually not enough to shut down transportation in and out. Please go to this Amador County site for more information.

This is the St. George Hotel. It's the biggest building in town and, although we've never stayed there, we have eaten there many times. It's just a beautiful old hotel and is the first building that you see as you drive into town. It's for sale, if you're interested.

I think this is the most wonderful Saloon. It's attached to the hotel and is one of the "hot" spots in town.

All the buildings are old and most are made of stone because of the fires and because they have an abundance of rock in the area.
We lived here for 3 years before we built a house down near Jackson. We lived a few miles above the town off of  a road called Shakeridge, on the way to the famous Daffodil Hill.
It was a beautiful place to live and if we had not already bought this land that we live on now we would be living up there somewhere. Every time I drive up into this area I feel like I'm coming back to a very special place. It has been 12 years since we left, but I can still see Rosie (an old timer who lived in town)  waving from the bench out in front of the little grocery store on Main Street. She was the one woman welcoming committee in town. She's gone now, but I'm sure her ghost is still walking around town somewhere.
_______________
Saturday was my Birthday. I have decided to make as little of this as possible. It seems to work better than celebrating with cakes and gatherings. So, I had accepted an invitation from a friend that still lives on Shakeridge to go to a Christmas Luncheon with her above Pine Grove at her church. I picked her up at her house which needs to be on a house and garden tour. It's so charming.

"J" is a very humble woman who would never want to show off, but I think it's one of the most charming homes I've ever seen. The dog adds to the ambiance and greets everyone like a long lost friend.
I lust for that potting shed in J's backyard. They bought it at Lowes and they added some gingerbread to it and painted it... and put a deck around it. Oh be still my beating heart. I love this little shed.

We packed up some food and drove back to Pine Grove and to the church.
The Luncheon was lovely. "J" had decorated her own table, one of seven, for the luncheon.  She made little gingerbread ornaments for everyone at her table and  invited other ladies to sit with us.

Mind you, I don't go to church very often and this is a very heavy bible centered church so I was waiting for lightening to strike when I walked into the front part of the church...... but lo and behold, nothing happen. I guess God knows my heart is in the right place ( this is the "closet catholic" speaking from somewhere.)  and all the questions and good investigative study I've done on this subject have been considered by him... her...this eminent, infinite light of the universe. I've been told that I have an intellectual syndrome about religion. That I need to just let go and have faith. Well..... That's a different, very long, post for another time.
Just the fact that all these women accepted me with handshakes and smiles..... and the fact that lightening didn't strike me, tells me that no matter what the outcome of my search, there is good in most everyone and that most folks who have THE ANSWER seems to be very accepting of those who don't.
I had a great time and the food was wonderful. In the end, I was given a small book called Our Daily Bread....

This little book brought back memories of my Grandmother who would always give me one to read when I visited her in Napa.  Sometimes she would send them to me with a note about God and how I should always be aware of a higher power that loved me. To this day I believe that all the beauty in this world and what my Grandma and my Mom taught me about nature and life, is a big part of what this eminent light is that we call God. It's has to do with knowing you're not alone in this world and it has to do with love.... unconditional love. I get it! I think the rest is about togetherness and confirmation and the need for sharing the belief that someone came here to save us from our sins. This is where I come to the intersection with all the red lights. I love the feeling of religion, and the music, and the celebrations, but when it comes right down to it I think there are still some pieces of the puzzle missing and, like a lot of other choices in life, I accept what makes this life, here on earth, more palatable.... not blindly but with much thought. This will all come to a show down or maybe just dust to dust..... some day in the near future. I'm not sure what will happen. Maybe I will be commended for my doubt.
If not, I'm going to have a lot of explaining to do.....

I had a wonderful time at the luncheon and then I drove my friend back to her house, said Merry Christmas to some of the locals.....

drove back through Volcano.......

....... into Pine Grove and down to Jackson.
I was tired. The Prospector had planned on taking me out to dinner but we decided to go out on Sunday evening instead, so I curled up with my knitting and listening to the rain outside and felt very safe.
Life can be so wonderful sometimes.
Today I'm home with a cold. I knew it was coming. It least I don't have to go to work anymore. I remember days when I did and how awful it was to call in sick when so much had to be done. The children would have to deal with a substitute and their routine would be changed. We are all special children and we all deal with changes in our routine. Life does that. I'm taking my medicine and resting a lot. I'm so fortunate to be a part of my own life.... trying to understand what all of THIS means and having the fortitude to keep reaching and asking questions.
In my heart I know that William Carlos Williams was right when he said...
"so much depends
upon
a red wheel
barrow
glazed with rain
water
beside the white
chickens."
Life is as complicated and as simple as that......
______________
p.s. Please no long comments on religion..... just short and to the point. But please do comment. I know I have opened a can of worms here but I'm not asking for help or arguments. Peace to you all.....

Oh, the smell of Cinnamon....

I have this wonderful hurricane lantern that I bought last year at, I think, Home Goods. I love this lantern. It's suppose to have a big candle in it but so far I have just filled it with seasonal things like shells in the summer and some leaves and buckeyes in the fall.

 Before Thanksgiving it was looking kind of sad and dusty, so I dumped the contents and washed the glass lamp. I had been wondering what to put into it. I love shells and I thought that some big shells with a small battery string of lights in there would look really pretty. Then I was shopping at Walmart one day and I found these...

They are called Cinnamon Scented Mini Pine Cones and they were only $4.00. Well, they stopped me dead in my tracks just because of the fragrance. As I walked down one of  the Christmas isles  the whole area smelled like cinnamon. I started sniffing and looking for what was giving off this wonderful scent and then I found this bag of pine cones. That was it. I was sold.... $4.00 What a deal!  They are so pretty. Some are  red and teal blue and some are just natural.
So I brought them home, put them into the lantern and placed it on my Mom's old table between the couch and the piano.

What do you think? I can take some pine cones out and add some of my "found" treasures from my walks up the mountain, a few sprigs of pine or some oak balls. I could still put some lights in there. I have this 10 light string that I got at Ikea. It uses batteries. It would fit nicely in between the pine cones. I could hide the battery pack with  some leaves near the top. You have to be able to turn it on and off. I'm open to other ideas if you have some. 

Even if I don't do anything more than this.... it will be a pretty addition to the holiday decorations in the living room. I like natural and simple.... and the aroma of cinnamon is amazing. It just makes you happy.

Wordless Wednesday: Child Crossing

Middle Bar Bridge on the Mokelumne River, Amador Co. CA.

A Good Tired

My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Gramma, do you know how you and God are alike?"  I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how are we alike?"  "You're both old," he replied.  ~Author Unknown 


I had to laugh when I read this. It's so like a child. It's so like the Bean..  the ability to make you feel like the most important person in his life and then honesty that takes you to your knees.
We had such a good time this weekend. There were moments of "This is how it's going to be, young man." or " We don't touch the computer and we don't throw the dog's bone across the living room and into the kitchen." but most of the time it was wonderful. The Bean is 5. He's learning how to be a human being. We had to give him a little slack. 
He and the Prospector had an ongoing conversation about Cheerios. Papa told him that he thought Cheerios would be a great present for the Bean's birthday in March. The Bean  said "NO PAPA." and Papa replied, " But you love Cheerios. It's a great gift."  The Bean looked Papa in the eye and said...." PAPA, you don't give Cheerios for presents. ONLY TOYS." So Papa, of course, had to keep bringing it up and every time he said something like "How about some Cheerios with your eggs?" or "Would you like some Cheerios with that piece of chicken?", the Bean would start laughing and it got pretty silly around here.
I made this collage to show you the speed with which we moved for 4 days.....

We have forgotten how children are going, going, going.... from the moment they wake up until they finally fall asleep at night.
Yesterday before we left to meet Daddy and little Bean in Stockton, he had one last run with the dogs....

He ran around the yard with the dogs and then he told me that he didn't want to go home. He got really quiet and stood looking out across the hills. He said, " But I have to go because my brother will be sad if I don't come home." I walked over, gave him a hug and said, "That's OK Bean. You can come back anytime you want to, but I agree that little bean will be sad if you don't go home." He gave this some real consideration  and then said quietly, "Yea, I gotta go home." 
So we went to say goodbye to the goats. 

Bart and the Bean had a moment together with lots of eye contact. Brownie grabbed the hay right out of Bean's hand. Murphy and Freckles seems very thankful that they were getting an extra late morning snack. Then we said goodbye to the goats and walked up to the chicken coop.

The Bean found one egg in a small box but there were three hens in the big nesting box so we closed it back up and let them lay their eggs without any of the ladies getting upset. He carried the egg back to the garage and carefully put it in the outside refrigerator. He's getting so good at this.

Then, one more farewell to all.
 We packed up all of Beans toys, special drawings, artwork, clothes, cookies we made and the apples he bought at the store for his family. He said goodbye to Papa and off we went. We drove down to the truck stop on Highway 5 in Lodi to meet Daddy and little bean at the Taco Bell. We had arranged to meet "half way" so the trip would be only 2 hours, back and forth, instead of 4. 
About 15 minutes into the drive, the Bean fell asleep.

I didn't take a nap! I wanted to sleep too. Oh, how I wanted to sleep.... but I didn't.
Bean woke up to his brother crawling across him saying. "Hey, wake up. Do you got any candy?" He didn't, but he had found a rock that looked like a number "1" on our walk Friday that he had saved to give to his brother. It was amazing that the flat shale rock was shaped this way but little Bean was not too impressed. He like a red sucker better.
We transferred everything from one car to the other and said our goodbyes. My son gave me a hug and said "Thank you, Mom." That made the tiredness go away.
I gave the boys a kiss, waved goodbye and got into the car and headed straight for Starbucks.

My plan was to drive on into Stockton and see my Mother-in-law. She fell and broke her shoulder and hip a few weeks back and has been recuperating in a convalescent hospital for over a month. Last Wednesday she was able to come home. She has family there 24/7 right now. 
She is doing really well and looks good. She is a "trooper". It has been a very hard recovery for her and she is not happy about all of this but she is trying to be patient. She's 89 years old. She has always been so active and in good heath.  She has always had more energy than all of us put together.... no, wait.  Who I'm I talking about? The Bean has that energy too. His great grandmother must have pass all that energy on to him. He must have inherited the Energizer Bunny Gene. The Prospector has it too. It looks like a small animal attached to the DNA with a leash to keep it in place. It's a wild thing. I've seen it. I know it's habits.... intense, active and a mind of it's own. Can be combative and hostile sometimes when it gets loose and runs amuck
I left Stockton and drove home, up into the lovely mountains. I ate dinner and was in bed by 9:00 p.m. I slept for 10 hours straight. UNHEARD OF!! I'm usually a "night owl". The Starbucks latte, the black tea at dinner and the chocolate for dessert didn't even touch the depth of tiredness I felt. 
Today I just took it easy. The dogs keep looking for the Bean and in between they take naps. I'm still tired..... but it's a good tired.