Intimations of Life Without Christmas

Silly me! Christmas is almost here, and other than a few ornaments and what was handy in some boxes in the closet, this is what it will be this year.
I got a viral infection that has wasted a whole week and almost wasted me. It started with a small headache and loosing my voice. It turned into a monster that wouldn't let me breath and coughing that almost did me in. By yesterday I said "I give." and went to the hospital in Elk Grove to see my doctor. I started running a fever.
I wrote this poem for him....although I didn't take it with me, so he didn't actually see it.

Please Doctor.... Make me well

Christmas is a coming.
I've got so much to do...
The cookies need some baking 
and all the gifts bought too.
I can't be sick much longer. 
It's not the time of year.
I haven't finished anything. 
Please kick me in the rear.
Give me all the medicine
that you know will make me well.
Because the season is coming fast 
and, Oh, I feel like Hell.
Just one magic potion
to make my body right.
Just one magic potion 
to let me see the light.
I promise I will write a letter,
with cookies, to your boss,
And tell them you're the best darn "doc"
in the whole entire Hosp'.

(OK, that last line is kind of lame. I will work on it.)
_______________
The Prospector drove this wretched person down to her appt. The doctor listened, poked and did some tests and sent me home with antibiotics, Codeine cough medicine and Albuterol inhaler. He told me that I shouldn't have waited so long to come in. I was borderline. (I've known that for years.)
Today I feel...... better. Kind of.
Silly me. I thought I wasn't going to get better. It's hard to be positive when you can't breath.
I have this small thought inside that is getting larger, as I grow older. It's like a window with old distorted glass. I'm looking into it and I see my reflection. Behind me is my mother. She couldn't breath either.
At some point in our lives we see this reflection of what lies ahead... and it's so scary we can't even say it's name.
I'm so glad Christmas is coming..... Maybe it will snow.

When you're under the weather...

Henry David Thoreau said, "Tis healthy to be sick..." I'm not so sure about that, but it seems that I do get things done that might otherwise just sit where they lie. I, also, feel better today.
Thank you for all the advice. I have tried everything. The chicken soup, resting, drugs, Zinc, and the old Aussie remedy....rubbing Vick's on the feet and covering them with warm socks.  I believe I'm feeling better. I think they all helped.
Thank you. Farmlady was alive this morning when she got up.

During the Cold plague I.... did some knitting and learned how to make "bobbles" online.

I went all the way through the IKEA wish book, read my AARP magazine (that reminded me how old I am and how dangerous colds can be.), cleaned out another box of old letter and notes of my mothers and watched a lot of television. Did anyone watch the new series called Migrations on the Nat. Geographic channel? It's wonderful.

I drank lots, and lots, and lots of water and sucked on many cough drops.

...and finally found the bottle of Vicks VapoRub in the closet. It was next to the OFF Deepwoods insect repellent for sportsmen. I had a moment where I thought that a spray behind each ear might help my situation  but I know I didn't get bitten by a West Nile virus carrying mosquito so I will save that for another occasion. Still, it wouldn't hurt. Can't be too safe when you're fighting off the plague.

I spent way too much time on the computer the last few days. But I'm sick. It's my connection to the land of the living. This is my new tiny Jansjo lamp I got at Ikea for $9.99. My other lamp was taking up too much space on my desk. This little gem is just right and puts out a focused beam of light that is stronger than the old lamp. The light is called a diode.  It consumes 70% less energy and lasts up to 25 times longer than incandescent bulbs. It comes in lots of great colors and you can twist it any way you want to. It's a real deal.
OK... yes, that's a snickers wrapper in the bottom right corner. So what? I needed extra energy.

This afternoon I went outside for a few minutes. The sun was shinning and it was so beautiful. The clouds are coming back in and it will be raining again tonight but right now the sun is shiny and warm against the south side of the house. It's lovely.

One of the garden ladies was drying out, soaking up the warmth and wearing flowers in her hair. She's a California girl for sure.

I need to go lie down for a while but first a  little thankfulness....

"Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little,
 And if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die;
so.... let us be thankful."
That's a quote from one of my favorite men.... the Hindu Prince, Gautama Siddhartha, the founder of Buddhism.

Misery Loves Company

I have a miserable cold. One of those kind of colds were you are so stuffed up you can only breath through your mouth and you feel like you have cotton stuck in you teeth.
I woke up this morning feeling like someone beat on me all night and sat on the side of the bed hoping that I might just die and get it over with. Then, I looked out the window.

It was raining. Everything was glistening wet and the multi colored  leaves of the Chinese Tallow were moving quietly in the morning air, as if each leaf was turning upward to catch the rain.
The Catalpa trees behind the house were holding on to what few yellow leaves still clung to them....

The goats were nowhere to be seen.
I was on my feet by now, moving from window to window. Trying to accumulate  enough reasons to make it worth being alive when my brain felt like it was draining out of me with all the other debris. I hate being sick.

Then I walked out to the living room and was greeted by Cutterbutt who has decided that life is good  when you can spend a cold rainy morning on the couch right where Farmlady wants to lay down.
I poured a cup of coffee. The Prospector asked how I was feeling. I considered this question. I replied, "Better, I guess.", as one of the nerve cells from my brain slid down my throat and sent me into a coughing attack. I hate being sick.... Why do I have to be sick. Where did this come from. What did I do to deserve this. I feel so awful.
"Well," said the Prospector, "you'll feel better in a few days. Just take it easy." 
Well, that went well. Not a lot of sympathy there and the dogs are taking there morning nap oblivious to my pain.
I sat down on the edge of the couch, between the two dogs, sipping my coffee and feeling very sorry for myself and that is when it happen.

Cutterbutt came over and put his soft head on my lap.... and he made a little doggy noise. Just a little growl mixed with a sigh that said..." Everything will be all right. This too shall pass."