The sun isn't gone.... it's just behind a cloud.

Sometimes we aren't sure what is going to happen and we have insecure moments of doubt... so we find a good lap, tuck our paws under and hope for the best.




It's always good if someone finds the right place to scratch.
It can make all the difference in our day when someone bothers to stop and give us some one on one.


Then we feel the sun and forget the rain....and even though we know that there will always be something waiting to pounce on us....

We will look on it with compassion and without malice because it is what it is... and life needs to be accepted with all it's hidden chaos. It is our life and
we are here.

"The great sea has set me in motion,
set me adrift,
moving me like a weed in a river.

The sky and the strong wind
have moved the spirit inside me
till I am carried away
trembling with joy."
\
Uvavnuk (mid-19th-early 20th century)

Finding Joy

Joy's smile is much closer to tears than laughter."
~Victor Hugo~





"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are."
~Teddy Roosevelt~

My Grandson, the Bean, called the other night to tell me that he found a FIVE leaf clover. The excitement in his voice was a joyful noise in my ear. He had been looking for a four leaf clover in the lawn in his backyard. He kept at it and finally found the object of his quest.... even more. Not four but five leaves... for this little five year old. He was seeking, with his steady concentration and childlike hope, the proverbial "needle in the haystack". He found, to his delight, more than he wished for. It seems that effort is something that children understand when they are encouraged to try and that joy is the unexpected gift.

"Joy to the world,
All the boys and girls.
Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea,
Joy to you and me."

~hoyt axton~(1938-)

Wordless Wednesday: Logan's Pass in Glacier National Park

Logan's Pass: Glacier National Park

I have had company here on the farm. My sister came to visit. So blogging came to a halt for a few days. We love having her visit. The dogs are delighted too.
The weather is wonderful. Rain and cool weather. Just like Montana.... which is where I took these photos. Logan's pass, in Glacier Nat. Park, is the highest spot on the Going to the Sun road. It straddles the Continental Divide. This is Alpine country and still has wildflowers in September.

When I first sighted these Bighorn sheep I was stunned. They are huge. They can weight from 100 to 300 lbs and are 5 to 6 ft long. This group just sat up on the hillside above the parking lot at Logan's Pass.

Look at this guy. He looked like the leader of the pack. He was majestic! He has such an old and wise face. We were very lucky to have them congregate so close to the parking area. Of course, this is not as close as it looks. "D" let me use her big lens that brought the sheep "up close and personal" and the miracle of cropping photos makes it look like I could have reached out and touched him. I cannot tell you the thrill of seeing these sheep for the first time.

This is me on the "easy" Hidden Lake Trail that is one of the most popular hikes in the park. It goes up 1.5 miles to Hidden Lake. It was very tiring and we make it about 1 mile, saw the next rung of the wooden path ahead of us, decided that we had reach the "65 years and above" level and turned around. Now, anyone that has been there and is in good physical shape will say that we wimped out, but I say that for two 65 year old ladies... we did good. As we came back down I smiled at the thought that some older person would pass me and think..."If she can do it, I can." Little did they know that we turned around before we reached Hidden Lake. I hope that everyone made it. A little later a helicopter came in over us and the thought crossed my mind that they were flying above us to pick up someone who attempted to go the distance and didn't make it. I felt justified in turning around, even though there is still a part of me that wishes I had tried harder and pushed myself further. On the other hand I'm proud of how far I did go. It was a beautiful hike and worth the effort.

( "D" took this picture of me on our downward hike back to the parking lot. Looking up toward the rise is the top of the hill that continued on to the lake. It was still another half mile from there to the lake.)

Angel Wing at McDonald Falls

To continue our trip into Glacier National Park I have to say something about the water. This is glacial water and , like all the lakes and rivers in Northwest Montana, there is something very special about the color of the water. I'm sure that when Lewis and Clark came West they didn't see the difference as much as we do now. The look of unpolluted water is different. It's so pristine that you can see further into it... clear, with a sparkle that stuns you when the sun is reflecting on it and the color.... a turquoise that I have never seen anywhere else. Because it's in a National park and protected... because it's close to it's source (the melting snow and glaciers of the mountain peaks) there is this amazing turquoise color that is so beautiful and intense that you might think, if you swam into it, that you would emerge with a turquoise tint on your skin.

We walked down to a bridge that crosses the McDonald River below the falls and, as we took pictures, I saw a movement on the log railing. This little butterfly had come to say hello. This is a Satyr butterfly of the Angel Wing family. They are named for the sharp. angular margins of their wings. The underside resembles dead leaves or bark for camouflage.

"D" took these photos when I reached over and put my hand underneath this little creature. It simply walked onto my fingers and showed off it's pretty wing for us. What a simple act of trust that was for one so small. It posed, walked on my hand for awhile and then flew to the other side of the bridge to meet someone else. I count this as our first, wild welcoming to the park.

Wordless Wednesday: "Last Breath" , Big Fork, MT.

Bear Cub has a Bad Day... and other Glacial thoughts.

updated 7/27/2010 8:06:22 PM ET
COLUMBUS, Ohio — TV host and zookeeper Jack Hanna says he took his own advice and used pepper spray on a grizzly bear headed toward him.
The Columbus Zoo keeper and frequent David Letterman guest said he was with his wife and other hikers in Montana's Glacier National Park on Saturday when a bear cub, weighing about 125 pounds, charged them. Hanna told The Columbus Dispatch that he held up a canister of pepper spray, which he takes routinely on hikes.
"At about 30 feet, I unload my pepper spray, and the wind takes it," he told the newspaper.
But the bear kept coming. Hanna sprayed toward the animal again, but still it kept coming.
"Then the third time I unload that pepper spray right in his face," Hanna said.
The bear turned around and fled.
Hanna said he's been carrying pepper spray on hikes for 15 years, but Saturday was the first time he's used it.
The group was returning from Grinnell Glacier by way of a narrow trail with a cliff on one side and a steep drop-off on the other. They rounded a corner and saw a mother bear and two large cubs about 30-feet away coming toward them, the newspaper reported Tuesday.
"We thought of letting them go by, but the trail was cut into the rock and was too narrow," Hanna said. "So I said, 'Everybody talk loud and we'll back up until we can get off the trail.'"
They moved slowly back up the trail to a clearing.
"I said, 'Crawl up the hill and put your backs against the wall,'" he said.
Then they stood still while the mother and one cub passed by. The other cub, instead, charged toward them.
Hanna had recently filmed a message for the National Park Service encouraging hikers to carry pepper spray. ~associated press story~

The bear CUB attacked them.... the bear CUB. Not the mom, but the baby.
This was only weeks before we drove into the park and if it could happen to Jack Hanna, it could happen to anyone. Obviously, the bear cub didn't know who this man was. Children have no respect for their elders these days.
So.... we decided that we would NOT be going on any long hikes with or without a guide, with or without other people. We also went into a store in Apgar Village, at the west entrance, and these spray cans of what they call Bear Spray were $50.00 a can and it's recommended that you take two of them with you. That was the clincher.
The problem is that something happens to you when you get into this park. I think it's some kind of hypnosis. All of sudden you see this....










...and this.







You forget everything else that made sense before you drove into the park. This is a magical place. The view sweeps you into another world. Lake McDonald's Rorschach like reflections ink-blot impressions on your emotions that eliminate any reservations you had about not being safe.


You stand on the edge of astounding beauty and the Grizzly bear becomes one small part of the wilderness before you. The Black Bear, Elk, Mountain Goats and the Bighorn Sheep exist only as a part of the whole and therefore seem far less ominous.

This is the first psychological test that greets you as you step onto the edge of this great preserve. It is a deceptive loveliness that takes away your safety net and makes you vulnerable.
Standing on the edge of this lake I think I could hear the earth breathing....

Post #2- A Very Special Life

I wonder, now that I'm home and have had time to chew and swallow my whole vacation experience, how many folks really make a conscious choice to live their dreams. I think that my friend "D" and her husband do this more than anyone I know and it's not an easy thing.
You make choices in life. The reality is not always what the dream was. There are all the little things that you don't anticipate... the fact that you have to go where the work is and leave your home a lot. There's the constant effort to live simply and maintain a lifestyle that makes you and your partner happy. There are compromises, fears and that unsettling feeling that life will make things change and that, as you get older, it will be harder to make this lifestyle work.
You start holding onto things but also want to let go. What you say you want to do and the pull of "making a living" start to grate on each other. Then you think about the accumulation of material things that make life more comfortable but become logs caught in the roots of boggy, snagging permanence. Freedom is calling..... the elk of the high country are bugling your name and the quaking Aspen are whispering " come to us". It's not an easy thing when you have always been a free spirit but have a longing for "place"

This is a very special "place". This home reminds me of my grandmother's home in the hills of Napa.... only cleaner and with a flair for creativity. Henny, the chicken, knows. She has made her wishes clear. She wants breakfast every morning and to be tucked in at night. It's what all chickens want in life.

Last year when my mother died, "D" was there. She didn't get there in time to be with Mom but sometimes things don't work exactly the way you anticipate and Mom couldn't wait. So it is with life and death. But "D" came and she was present in that great time of need . She helped us so much with so many things. She helped us grieve and wrapped her arms around our sadness. When she was ready to leave I asked her to, please, take something, anything, that she wanted to remember Mom . She took some little bird statues, some glass eggs and a few other small things and then said that if we sold any of the furniture she would like to buy the kitchen table because she remembered so many wonderful times there and that table had always been in that place. It had so many memories for her. We didn't sell it to her. My sister and I gave it to her and helped her load the table into her truck. We gave her the one thing that she really wanted. It seems the most perfect person for it to go to.
She took that oak table home to Montana and during my visit I found the table in the upstairs bedroom, in a quilt making area, close to the bed. Every morning I would wake up and see the table. What a wonderful gift.... to know that this table is in my friend's house. I could hear my mother's voice saying " Yes, this is a good place for this table. It's found a new home. I'm so happy it's here." ...and so it goes. Sometimes we make choices that seem so right. Sometimes happiness is just there in the reflection of an old oak table and life is what it is.

I don't really have a 3rd post now that I condensed the photos into collages. I'm done for the day. Tomorrow "D" and I will be off for Glacier National Park.

Post #1- My Luxurious Accomodations

This is the view from the upstairs room I was sleeping in at "D"s house. I had the penthouse suite with another king size bed and views as far as the eye could see. This is looking west to Lake Koocanusa and the Percell Mountains in the Kootenai National Forest; home of the Yaak. This is where Rick Bass(one of my favorite writers) writes his wonderful books about his life, his dog Colter and the vanishing wilderness. In the days to come we will drive through the Yaak and experienced the isolated area first hand but at the time I took this picture the only things that I could see to the West was a dark range of mountains with a storm coming in our direction....one of the distant vistas of Big Sky country.
Below is the same window as above. I backed away so I could take a picture of "D"s beautiful window coverings. All her curtains are from beautiful quilts that she makes and uses for her windows and interior doors. They are unique and beautifully transparent with the light coming through them. They also insulate from the cold in winter.


(I'm having trouble with the uploading of my photos so bear with me.)

When the sun shines through these quilted curtains they look like stained glass.
Very lovely.






I made myself at home, throwing my shoes on the floor next to the bed and leaving my bags all over the place. They gave me a place to relax and unwind and that I did.
The first day at "D"s home I met her husband, the mountain man himself, and again they slept in their trailer so I could have the comforts of home upstairs.
The mountain man built this house and all the outbuildings by himself. He mills the logs that he harvested from the forest. He and "D" went to the rivers and brought back all the stones that built the foundation. The windows are recycled from other old homes. This house is a labor of love for both of them and still, when I arrived, they slept in their trailer so I could sleep inside the house. Is that not Montana hospitality?
This home is so beautiful. It's a natural and ecologically fitting home that doesn't make a scar on the environment like some of it's neighbors... who brought the "bigger is better" philosophy with them from some other place and even have gardeners to mow their lawns. Yep!

Honest story here..... when "D" and the mountain man arrived on their property a few years ago with their sheep wagon and all their worldly belonging in a truck, they were confronted by this neighbor( with the manicured lawn) and the first thing he asked them was if they were going to build a house or live like a "typical" Montanan. Wow! how's that for neighborly chit chat? Now I don't know what a typical Montana native is suppose to live like but that's just rude and the mountain man took offense. It was not pretty and they haven't talked to each other since. I would imagine that, now, when this "neighbor" sees this beautiful house that was built and the sheep wagon next to the most amazing barn/workshop ever.... and the lovely chicken house... that he is eating his words. But, we'll never know because the mountain man built a new road into their property and avoids the "neighbor" like the plague.
(Because I'm having trouble with the posting of photos I will do three posts today. I'm back to the old blogger photo upload and until I figure out what is wrong with the new one and why it won't let me upload photos from my files, I will have to limit my photos to three per post. I wish they wouldn't change what doesn't need fixing.)

How they treat a hen in Big Sky country

This is Henny.... She is a "house" hen. She doesn't sleep in the house, mind you, she just comes in for food. In the morning my friend "D" goes out and let Henny and Dwane (the rooster) out of the chicken house. Henny charges out of her beautiful little abode and immediately comes toward the big house. Up the steps she goes and if the door is not open she paces back and forth until "D" opens the door and then ....."here she comes just a walkin' down the street" or what I mean is.... across the floor. She is a chicken on a mission, a hen with purpose.

Henny is an Orpington breed (I think.) with a beautiful Wheaten coat and smarter than the average chicken. She struts into the kitchen and waits while "D" fixes her breakfast. Then with all the elegance a chicken can muster, she eats her special gourmet meal. This morning it was hard boiled egg (probably her own....the ultimate recycle) and some broken pecans, much more to her liking than the egg.
.
When she had her fill she started for the door. "D" called her and gave her one last, special, hand delivered goodie.... and then....out she went to forage on her own. With a flip of her tale feathers and a few clucks (...could have been "thank you", it's hard to know.) she walked out the front door and into the garden.
It is definitely a hen's life around here.
I, on the other hand, had to get my own breakfast. Hummph! OK, I know. Sometimes you just have to go with the flow. Sometimes you just have to do a little chicken dance and grab the camera instead.
I just hope Henny knows how good she has it. I think she does....

P.S. Please don't tell my hens about this.

First two days in the Flathead

I have decided that flying can be FUN. There, I said it.... That wasn't hard. It almost convinces me that it really is fun and that, somehow, makes it easier. Mostly, it's getting my mind into a different place where I can find interest in something besides how high I'm am. At the same time, looking down at the landscape below is so interesting that I find myself forgetting where I am and focusing on seeing the country in a different way....

Of course I checked the wing to be sure that it didn't have a crack in it or gasoline leaking out. Everything was fine. Then I looked down at the landscape of Nevada...

I would imagine that when the pioneers came across this land, from the great Salt Lake in Utah, to the deserts and plains of Nevada and then came up against the Sierra Nevada Mountains that they probably figured they were pretty much going in the wrong direction. This is desolate territory. It must have been slow and miserable in a wagon train. It made my hour and a half airplane ride even more appealing.
Nevada is beautiful in it's own way. It's starkness has a beauty that is so different than California. Once you leave the farms that make colorful patchwork quilts of the great central valley, the mountains with their many shades of greens and the blue water of Lake Tahoe and fly east, the landscape becomes a flat terrain of simple contrast... light and dark, that is only broken by clouds darkening the already binary terrain. The contrast of light flat ravines and dark spare mountains is startling.
As we came into Salt Lake City we experienced a small amount of turbulence. I heard a child a few seats in front of me say, " Oh daddy, this is just like a roller coaster." This gave me pause for thought. I've never been on a roller coaster, never will, but it did make me feel better that we landed safely and that a little girl thought it was fun.
We changed planes and were off for Kalispell.

And within an hour and a half we flew into the Flathead Valley of Northwest Montana. This was what I had been waiting for....
My friend, "D", was waiting with a big smile and a hug. No stiff drink, but that's OK because I was so glad to be there and have my feet on the ground, that I didn't even need to alter my state of mind. Montana IS a state of mind all by itself. We retrieved my bags and left the airport.
"D" is working in Kalispell but lives about 70 miles north so during the week she rents an apartment in Big Fork and then heads home for the weekends. When we pulled up to this huge utility building I was beginning to wonder what kind of accommodations I was going to sleep in that night. I wondered what was inside this big, huge building and was I going to find some clean hay in a corner with a horse for warmth.

Not to worry. This was a wonderful "apartment" with a big living area, a bathroom and a bedroom. Once inside we had all the conveniences of home....AND a king size bed. "D" said she would be sleeping in the trailer so I got the whole bed to myself. It was a luxury I didn't expect. No amount of arguing about it did any good. "D" wanted to sleep in the trailer which she is very use to because she and he husband live in it sometimes up to 4 or 5 months out of the year. So Farmlady got the royal treatment on her first night in Montana. She slept like a dead person.
The next morning I woke up at 5:30, raring to go. Must have been the one hour time difference. When "D" came in we fixed some coffee and breakfast, talked about what we were going to do all week and the fact that we were finally together again.
Later in the morning we drove into Kalispell. We went to a coffee shop on Main Street. Will you look at that beautiful foam leaf on top of my latte? This place is awesome....

Looked up places we wanted to go on the Internet....

And made plans for the remainder of the day, enjoying our coffee with the foam leaf on top and watching all the people come and go...

It was so relaxing....

right down to the last foamy leaf in the cup. I wrote down all the places we were going to consider staying overnight in after we drove over the "Going to the Sun" road in Glacier National Park and phone numbers for reservations.
Then, we decided not to make reservations because the rush of tourists were gone....families would not be vacationing because most children were back in school ....and it was September....and we just didn't think we needed to call ahead. BIG MISTAKE!!!
We took a walk down to a yarn store called Camas Creek Yarn.

Yes,, that sign has been completely covered with knitted yarn and the bee must have been confused about what this pole was. He was looking for pollen on a blue flower that was never going to satisfy him. Poor little guy.
This store was amazing. There was so much yarn and every conceivable item that you would need for any project that you might want to take on. Lots of beautiful hand spun yarn that was hand dyed, lots of classes to take and very knowledgeable women working in the shop. Plus, look at the store, it's just charming.
We went to the Hockaday Museum and looked at some beautiful paintings of the wild animals and countryside done by famous painters including Charles Russell.

We drove back to Big Fork and collapsed. This was just the beginning....

Happy Birthday "D". I'm home and all is well.

I have returned from my amazing trip to Montana. I need some time to assimilate the journey, the  perspective  and the depth of emotion that has become a part of me.
First of all I want to wish my friend "D" a very happy birthday. I wish I  had made my reservations to extend a few more days so we could have celebrated this day together but I think that we did CELEBRATE for 12 wonderful days and, after all, we did have to get back to our lives at some point so I guess Monday was as good as any day to return. My mind and heart are still in the Montana mountains and I can feel the magic of that beautiful country lingering all around me....and the dear friend that I didn't want to leave.
We have known each other for so long.....

 "D" gave me this photo when we spent some time looking through an album of pictures that dated back to our high school days. This one was taken about 1959 at an airport that we both worked at in Concord, CA. We are so young, about 15 maybe. "D" was home for the summer. She stayed for a year of high school and then she was off again to another foreign country until she came back to go to college. We were so young and filled with possibilities.
Now, we have shed the skin of youth...

and grown older....

We are fifty years from that charming, unbaked youth. We are in our "golden" years. Well "cooked", grayed and wrinkled, but more relaxed in our being....more warmth than blazing fire. This is a friendship of time and enduring comradeship, and now, new memories.
I have so much to tell....

This is Henny.... resident hen at "D"s home. She welcomed me the first morning as we sat on the edge of the porch and discussed life in this high Montana valley. She is a very educated chicken in the ways of country life and caretaker to an old rooster that shares her life.. here. She loves to sit on "D"s lap and so it began.... sitting in the sun, talking about our lives, enjoying the view. It was a "chicken in your lap" kind of vacation with spurts of amazing activity. Over the next week I will have stories to tell and pictures to post.
This is where the story radiates from....a hand built home in the northwest corner of Montana.

This is the pilgrimage I took. This is my dear friend's life and I'm so glad that we have made the effort to maintain this sisterhood of years.
Happy Birthday "D". I miss you... but I will come back soon... with the Prospector... and some Ben and Jerry's ice cream..... and we'll all go fishin'.