Wordless Wednesday: Sanctuary

Seeing into one's own nature.

Do you know what death looks like? Is it peaceful, beautiful, forgiving or tragic? Is it final or a part of some journey?

If we live long enough we get weathered and tired. Life takes parts of us, physically and emotionally. We should become wiser for all of this,but we don't. We could show someone our scars and wounds,but that only produces pity...., Oh look, she has holes in her skin. I feel so sorry for her."......

Where is that one part of me that holds on and doesn't let go? Can I find that warm, green place that says "Things will be all right.?" I think I have found where to look. It is the place that I always turn to when I am in need. I seek solitude and comfort in a place that is away from the speaking voices of man. Alone and surrounded by nature I find a clearer acceptance and understanding of things to come. It's where I find the silent voice of God.

Cease thy Labor and Relax

Free range isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Oh no...., where are those chickens? Look what they've done! They haven't been out for more than an hour and look at this. We have forty two acres and they found the only part of the garden that isn't fenced. Give them a little freedom on a nice day and what happens...,
















..., this


Ah ha! Feathers! I've found proof. Clear evidence that this was an act of wanton destruction by chickens running amuck; whipped into a frenzy by a feeling of freedom and well ammended soil. All the signs are there.




I find all of them hiding under the tent trailer, looking innocent of any wrong doing. "You can't even look me in the eye, can you? Henny Penny, you're the only one who will look at me and you probably weren't even a part of all this. I want all of you to know that there will be consequences for this behavior. Napoleon, you better get these ladies under control or you and the gang will be spending the rest of the year in confinement. "Do you hear me?"
...., no answer, just a few whispered clucks.

Drive to Volcano

Ten years ago we lived here. This is the little "mother lode" town of Volcano, Ca. We rented a house here for three years before we built the home we're in now. This is the most charming town, in the middle of nowhere, that I have ever seen. I'ts east of Sutter Creek and north of Pine Grove and anyway you get to it is winding, slow and very scenic. I was working at Pine Grove Elementary school when we lived here and I use to joke about the long commute from our house to Pine Grove. It was 6 or 7 miles and sometimes I didn't pass one car until I got to hiway 88. Quite a change from Bay Area traffic and an ugly 40 mile commute.
Yesterday we had to drive up 88 to Buckhorn and Mace Meadows so, on our way back, we decided to have lunch in Volcano. It hasn't changed much. You can still stand in the middle of the street and take pictures without worrying about getting hit by a car. Your bigger concern would be a large Buck or a Mountain Lion. It still seems that way.
It was very quiet yesterday . We had lunch at Humble Pies and , yes, they have really good pies and they are very humble about it. And ...., yes, there was a dog sleeping out on the sidewalk.

It was very hot so we ate inside. We ate and reminisced about the car shows, and crab feeds we enjoyed there, and the summer evenings when everyone would bring wine, a picnic dinner (and friends) and sit on the lawn in the amphitheater while watching a wonderful play.
Everybody knew you and Rosie( that's her bench ) ,who had lived there all her life and now lives in a nursing home, would sit on her bench and wave to everyone who went by. I mean everyone, even if she didn't know who it was.
Such good memories. Doesn't seem like 10 years. Where did all those years go? Where DID they go?
It's a charming little town that the world hasn't found ..., yet. I always thought that the old building ( see photo above) ,that looked like it had sunk into the dirt, seemed to be slowly dissappearing like many little towns in the mother lode area of the Sierra's. I sure hope Volcano stays untouched for a long time. It's like stepping back to the 1800's.
So, if you ever come up to this part of California please drive a little further and visit Volcano. You'll love it!

Biscuits for Brownie

"Did you miss me Brownie?"
"Yes, farmlady, but I'd like to talk about the colors of the new sleeping place."
"Why, what's the matter?"
"Well, three of us are brown and white. Bart is the only one of us that is gray and black."
"So you don't like the colors?"
"I just think you should have asked us what we thought."
"But Brownie, I was going to paint the house red and white at first and that wouldn't have matched any of you."
"That's true but those colors would not have favored just one of us. Red would have been politically correct."
"Come on , you mean that because I painted your new house gray and black that I wasn't being democratic?"
" Something like that. All Murph', Freckles and I are saying is that you were favoring Bart by using those colors."
"Good grief. I'm sorry that I have offended the three of you but I'm not repainting ."
"Hey, they all wanted me to say something and I have. This doesn't mean that I'm going to get less of that delicious grain does it?"
"No Brownie. I wouldn't do that. All of you have the right to speak out when you think there's been inequality but this is kind of picky. I have a lot of things on my plate right now and I don't need to worry about what the goats think of the colors that I painted on their new house."
"Plate? What plate? Did you come out here with a plate of food? Did I miss something? Hey guys, Farmlady had some food and she didn't give us any." Did you get anything Bart? She said she had something on her plate. I don't see a plate and I don't see any food. I'll bet she gave some to one of you when I was getting a drink of water. Who got something? Maybe it was Murphy because he thinks he's such a big celebrity. Murphy..., did Farmlady give you some extra food?Where are you, Murph'.

"I'm over here Brownie. Settle down. Farmlady has the camera and I'm giving her my sweet and wonderful goat look. You never know where these picture are going to show up. Maybe I should do a little dance for her."

"Farmlady, you are my very favorite two-legged besides the prospector. You know that don't you? You care about us and protect us
and I just want you to know that whatever you have on your plate will be fine with me because I'm not that picky. I was kind of afraid to say this to Brownie, but I really like the gray and black. It's sophisticated and classy."
"Thank you Murphy, I thought so too."
"Your welcome, Farmlady. Brownie will be all right. He just gets upset when he thinks that no one cares about him."
"I will be more careful next time. I didn't mean to upset him."
"It's ok. Do you have any crackers?"
"No, but I'll bring some with me, later, when I close you in."
"Oh, thank you. ..., and Farmlady?"
"What Murphy?"
"Bring two for Brownie."

And so the little goat house was finished except for a few things like overhangs and some gravel, in front, before winter. I checked later on that night to see if Brownie had been watching the Democratic Convention. What a commotion about equality and fairness; but then I thought to myself that some goats are right. Brownie needed to be heard. He wanted a say in how his life was affected by a decision that he had no part of.
This week I listened to all the speakers at the Democratic Convention and I will listen to all of the Republican speakers next week. I'm kind of undecided about this election, but my discussion with Brownie made me stop and think about the democratic process and how important it is that everyone votes and that I shouldn't say "I have a lot on my plate"unless I have food on it ,because some goats and people rely on others for their food and they don't use this expression as a euphmism for having too much to do.
The little goat house will stay the color it is, because it was a lot of work and I'm not changing it...., but I will take five biscuits out there tonight and two of them will be for Brownie. One for courage and one for affection (mine)...., and I'll serve them on a little plate, just for him.

Wordless Wednesday: Smile

Dragonfly Wings

On my way down to my mom's I needed to stop for some coffee. As I got out of the car and shut the door I noticed something on the ground. I reached down and picked it up...., it was a dragonfly. It was dead and kind of dried out but everything was intact. The wings were not damaged at all. There in the busy parking lot I found this lovely gift, waiting for me to save it from the wind, the wheels of a car, a curious dog or a childs awkward hand. As I held it in my hand I thought I saw it move. How could that be? It was dried out and was crush in on the top between it's wings. Maybe the wind made it move, or my hand touched it's wing and turned it's body just a little. It didn't moved again and so I found a safe place for it on the back seat , bought my coffee and continued on across the Delta and into the Bay Area.
I know the road so well after all these years of driving down and back. I laughingly call it "...the horse to the barn" road. I tell everyone that if I took my hands off the wheel, the car would just continue on and arrive at it's destination because it has driven that road so many times.
I was not sure what to expect when I arrived at Mom's, but my sister had just brought Mom home and even though she was tired, she seemed to be doing very well. She has Congestive Heart Failure and Diabetes. She went to the hospital because she couldn't breath. They gave her very high doses of Lasix, a diuretic, and she came home 20 pounds thinner. The pressure on her heart and lungs was greatly reduced by this procedure so the doctor let her come home. They don't let you stay long now. If you're still breathing and you can get to the bathroom by yourself ,they discharge you. There seems to be a kind of medical conveyor belt in hospitals these days. You are in and out of there before you know anyone's name.
Sis told me that the doctors were very nice and did as much as they could to help Mom. All Mom wanted to do was go home. She's 90 yrs old and she's getting very set in her ways. She just wanted to take a nap. She was tired and very glad to be home.

Over the weekend I showed her the dragonfly I found in the parking lot. We marveled at the beauty of this creature and talked about the wings; so fragile looking and yet with the ability to fly. How each dragonfly is, first, a thing that lives in water. It is born there and that it only lives for a month or so. Only a month, not years, not decades..., but for a very short time, this lovely creature flies around and catches other insects and flies above our heads and then it's gone. Where do they go? all the thousands of small bodies...., when there are so many of them? Why does the death of one Dragonfly seem so sad? Why does sharing this lovely creature with my mother bring tears to my eyes? Is this when we hold onto each other because we know that time is short? Will the fragile wings of my mother's life travel faster than the years she has been given? Can I make the dragonfly come back to life and fly over my head?...., no. I can do nothing to stop the reality of it's death. We are all creatures with fragile wings and now, with my mother sitting beside me, I can only share this knowledge in silence.

Cat waits for her return.

My mom is in the hospital. I'm leaving this morning for the bay area, Not sure when I'll be back.
Her cat, Honey, is waiting for her to come home.
















Please say a prayer for my mom.

Wordless Wednesday(almost); Pasturizing the Goats.

Murphy..., celebrity goat

I had to go down to Sacramento today for a doctor's appointment, so I decided to travel a few miles further and go to the Davis Art Center to see Terry Busse's art show. I have gotton to know Terry through her blog: Songs from the Garden at; terrybusse.blogspot.com. She does the most amazing textile wall art you've ever seen and a few months ago she asked me if she could do one about my post on Murphy (one of my goats ) and the night he danced on his hind legs under a full moon. I was delighted and so was Murphy....
By the way, the painting of the "acrobat" was on the outside wall of the art center(top left). Just thought it was cool. The two bottom photos are the room where Terry's exhibit was.

Photo's do not do Terry's work justice. The intricate piecing of fabric and felt have to be seen "In person" to really be appreciated. This one above is called "Murphy's Midnight Dance" ( that's my Murph') and if you look closely you will see the beautiful stitching and detail that each of her pieces have. I'm so impressed because I've never even tried quilting, let alone something like this. Her colors are wonderful and every piece has a poem and a story to go with it.

The exhibit is at the Davis Art Center , 1919 F street, Davis, Ca. and continues through Aug 28. If you live anywhere close to Davis you should stop by and take a look. Gallery hours are Mon-Thurs 9:30 to 7 and Fri 9:30 to 5. They are closed on the weekend. And please check out Terry's blog. She shows all her art work on her posts and sometimes shows the process or parts of the pieces before they're finished. Very interesting. Click on the photos above to see them up close.

The other goats told me that Murphy has been acting kind of "uppity" lately and they found a pair of sunglasses in his corner of the goat house. You think some of this has gone to his head? I'll have to have a little talk with him.

Congratulations Terry! It's a wonderful exhibit.

Full Moon of Misfortune

I think this is #5 now, right? Yes, they are beautiful. Yes, I'm getting tired of killing them . I'm beginning to picture the mine, on our property, with thousands of pit vipers slithering around in there. I'm thinking that there are thousands of them looking for the ones we have killed. They take a head count and one says, "Joe's missing, Bill, you go out tonight and see if you can find him."
I have had dreams where I walk outside and there are hundreds of snakes, everywhere. I'm trying not to step on them and they never bite. They aren't paying any attention to me. I'm tip-toeing around them trying to get through the mass of snakes and then I step on one and it rears up...., looks at me, rattles it's tail ..., and I wake up. I never get bit in my dreams and there are different kinds of snakes, not just rattlers. Some of them are non- venomous, harmless garden snakes and some are black.

Last night I heard Maggie barking, continuously, in the area near the goat house. It's always a different bark when it's a snake. We both went out on to the back porch and called Maggie. She wouldn't come to us. I held Moke while the prospector went out across the concrete and over to the corner of the garage to find Maggie. We could hear the snake. When my brain focused on the sound, I looked down beside the wall of the house and there it was. Angry and coiled. My husband walked right by the snake and didn't even see it. He's so lucky sometimes. So, now we both had a dog in hand and the prospector yelled "Get your gun." All Moke wants to do is get at the snake. Crazy dog..
I closed the screened door and went for my hand gun in the bedroom. When I got to the back door again, my husband was on the porch with Maggie. I said " Why did you do that? You had to walk by the snake again." and all he said was, "Please take the dogs in the house." and took the pistol from me. I closed the door this time and waited for him to shoot. One shot was fired. It was a clean shot to the head. Another Rattler was dead. The dogs ran to our bedroom and hid. They don't like gunfire.
The snake was big; at least 3 or4 ft. long and had 12 rattles and he was beautiful. The prospector said that he didn't see the snake when he first went out to Maggie and then realized he had walked right by it, but in order to get her in the house he had to walk back up onto the porch again. I was going to tell him that he could have put her in the garage, but realized that he was upset and it probably wasn't necessary to tell him what he could have done, after the fact. He went and got the big bucket, lifted the snake into it and walk into the garage.
We watched the Olympics until Midnight because we were so hyped up. Even then we had a hard time getting to sleep. When I finally fell asleep I didn't dream of snakes. I dreamed about the goats. They were dancing and I think they were singing, (I'm not sure.) They seemed happy.
It was a full moon last night and Murphy wasn't dancing.

I'm so sorry snake.

Does anyone have a sharp mandoline?

This morning a friend and I went to this class on preserving food. It was very interesting and I learned a lot about canning , freezing and dehydrating food. Dorothy Smith, the county director for the University of Calif. Cooperative Extension was a great speaker and gave us a lot of information.
Canning is wonderful but time consumming. You have to really love canning food. It's very satisfying to "put up" your own vegetables and fruit. All those beautiful jars of produce are there later in the year when they are gone from your garden.
Dehydration is inexpensive and easy. It doesn't require a hot stove or a freezer to produce great results. Of all the ways that we can preserve food, I think I like drying the best. It's certainly the easiest and has the least chance of becoming toxic. It's the oldest form of preserving and there are many ways to do it. She talked about the two that she liked the best. You can sun dry outside which can take a couple of days, or you can buy a dehydrator that works off of electricity and is much faster. I would think that most people might want the dehydrator because it's faster and you can control the air-circulation and the heat. Drying time for most fruit or veggies in a dehydrator is only 1 to 4 hours. That's a plus for people who work or have busy schedules.
I'm going to try some "drying" soon because it's so easy and look at the beautiful, colorful assortment of veggies that Dorothy brought as examples. You can use these all year in soups and casseroles, etc. You can keep them in the cupboard or if you like , the refridgerator.
If you click on any of these photos you can see them closer. They are absolutely beautiful and some can be used in collages or on wreaths, if they are thin and dry enough. Just look at them. Some are like small works of art. I had no idea that preserving food could be so artistic. By the way, a Mandoline is a slicer that will give you thin even slices of food to dry.
Clockwise, from the upper left are: Crooked neck squash, Sweet potatos, mushrooms, squash, onions and bell peppers, tomatoes, sweet potatos, tomatoes and in the middle are onions and bell peppers. Yum! Don't you just want to make soup?...., and then there is all the fruit to think about: Dried apples, pears, apricots, peaches, pineapple, cherries, etc. ..., Oh my gosh, I think I need to go have a piece of fruit right this minute.

Fragrance of sunlight

I hung my gown out in the sun.

Tonight I brought it in.

I cannot tell how sweet a scent,

the gown, from sun, 

my skin.

c.c. 2008

Wordless Wednesday: Three Gourd Haiku

Freckles Dilemma in the Pasture

"Hey, Brownie.....,look . We are in a different place. That's our house way up there."

"And look over there. That's a new fence. What happen? Why did they let us out here? I'm confused. Things are not the same."

" You guys keep calling this "greener pastures", but I think something is up. Why were the tall ones so happy and saying something about the goats finally earning their keep? Hey...., stop eating and think for a minute. This just doesn't settle right with me. I may be smaller than all of you ,but my brain is telling me something is just not right. You don't get oak and toyon bushes for free. Mark my words. Something is up!"