Friday, September 9, 2011


It's been a long week of reflection and fighting off the complications of  severe mortality issues.
I thank everyone who commented on my last post, the emails from friend and the phone call from my sister. Bless your hearts.
It's going to take a while to get past the volume of mixed feelings I have about someone who was in my life for a very long time.
Death is a final destination There is no return. It's like a river that finally reaches the ocean.
There is no reversal, no turning back... only the blending of one thing  into another... becoming a part of the enormous unknown.
Maybe we do return to something. Maybe we change... like the landscape, like the sky...
But with death, there are no higher mountains... no further distances to travel.
The echos of childhood disappear. Arguments fall away and as the Zen master Gizan said.
"Coming and going, life and death:
A thousand hamlets, a million houses.
Don't you get the point?
Moon in the water, blossom in the sky."

I wish you peace, Karen. I wish you rest without pain.
I wish you joy and happiness beyond measure. 
You always said that I would know when you were "lifted up". I didn't! I'm sorry.
I know that you are safe now....
I truly hope that it is all that you hoped for... that what you imagined is really there.

 It's been a long road. Now you are free...
Goodbye, my friend.

When Thoreau was asked about the hereafter he said,
"One world at a time."
I think I will be here a while longer.
A few years ago Karen and I watched a Blue Heron land on a pond behind her house. We stood there in awe of this beautiful bird... together without words, without theology, without a difference of opinion, without any discussion or hurt feelings.... and we watched in wonder, like two little girls.
This is what I will remember.


Terra said...

These are poignant reflections upon death, life and your friend. My beliefs are that when we die, heaven has a joyful welcoming party and there is a grand reunion there. Perhaps a blue heron guided your friend Karen home.

Anonymous said...

I pray God will heal your broken heart on losing a friend. Always keep the good memories and leave the bad ones behind. I love this post the pictures and the thoughts you described. Have a blessed evening and a great weekend. Madeline

Sandy said...

The last paragraph blessed me! There could be no better tribute. Take care.

jojo said...

Beautiful memories to cherish and carry in your lovely heart forever. It is the spirit that never dies, never. Peace to you dear friend.

Teresa Evangeline said...

What a beautiful memory to hold. And that Thoreau quote is perfect. I continue to be almost astounded at all he understood.

Sweet sleep tonight.

Brian Miller said...

it is good you said your good byes and too with those that pass i figure now i am living on in their honor...

Kerry O'Gorman said...

She's in your heart and that's the best place for loved ones. You know this and in turn she somehow knows it as well.

Elaine said...

May you find comfort in the words of family and friends and warapped in the arms of God

Paxie said...

A beautiful and touching tribute conveying your love for a very special friend. I believe we see our loved ones again some day and until then we treasure our wonderful memories.

Sending you warm hugs, Connie...

LV said...

Time is the best thing to help in the healing process.

Jody said...

It's going to be ok now, for both of you. One moves on, the love and friendship remain - forever connected, linked to one another. Let all regret go - on the wings of the heron!
When my childhood friend died at the unspeakably young age of 32, I held her 2 year old son on my lap throughout the service and after. He slept peacefully as if knowing that he was safe. Maybe that is why we were connected in the beginning - for a profound safety later on.
We never know
We learn to trust.
Hold your memories close to you.