Have yourself a merry little Christmas, make the Yuletide gay.
~Ralph Blane~

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Brownie and the Eeyore Complex

"Hi Brownie. You look a bit grumpy this morning. Everything all right?"
"It was cold last night and the coyotes were being noisy.
" It's a beautiful time of the year. This is when we start getting cold nights but we still have warm days, some rain... some sun. I love this time of the year."
 "Well Farmlady. To be perfectly honest..."
"You always are, Brownie."
 "Well, anyway, I think I'm getting a cold. That rain the other night was awful and I had to lay against Freckle's to keep warm. When is Fall going to be over with?"
"Over with? It just started. The leaves have just started turning color and then they will fall from the trees. Then Winter will come and if we're lucky we might have some snow this year. Wouldn't that be nice?"
(There was no answer. Brownie was walking slowly toward the water bucket.
He stopped and looked at his shadow....) 
 "When are my horns going to be even? One is lower than the other."
"Well, I'm sorry that you don't like the way your horns are growing but it's better than when the left one was growing into your eye. Remember?"
 "Yes, Farmlady, I remember. I just thought that they would grow better and become huge important horns like the deer I see up on the hill."
"Brownie, you're not a deer... and besides, that deer will be in a great deal of trouble when hunting season comes."
 "What's hunting season?"
"It's when the hunters can kill the large bucks with horns and eat them."
 "What! You mean they kill you if you have horns?"
"Well, no, just deer that are wild."
 "But someone might tell them that I'm a deer."
 "No, Brownie. You don't look like a deer."
 "But they might make a mistake."
"I don't think so, and besides, you are in an enclosed place near our house. It's safe here."
 "Oh no it's not. I hear strange noises all night long. I hear gunshots all the time."
"I should know better than to say something that gets you all riled up. You are not going to get shot here on our farm."
 "But, it could happen."
"No it couldn't, Brownie, it's just not possible."
 "Yes it is."
"Brownie. You need to settle down. No one is going to shoot you with those little cut off horns anyway. You just don't look like a buck."
 "What's a buck?"
"Good grief. A buck is a male deer."
 "Oh. Well, do they shoot Coyotes around here too."
"You know what, Brownie? I don't really want to be having this conversation with you. It's not something you understand and I don't think you need to worry about it."
 "Maybe I could sleep in the garage with the cat. Why does she get to sleep in there.... and the dogs.... they get to sleep in the house with you and the prospector. Why is that? I think that I'm being mistreated. I  have rights. I should be protected against being shot."
"BROWNIE!"
 "What?"
"No one is going to shoot you. You're a goat."
 "What does that mean.... 'your a goat'. That sounded a little sarcastic."
"No, it wasn't. I just mean that people don't shoot goats because..., well... they just don't shoot them."
 "How do you know that?"
" You're not the right kind of goat."
 "The right kind of goat?"
"No, I mean you're .... OK, I need to go feed the chickens."
"Well, just walk away in the middle of a conversation...... Hey, Bart, Farmlady is kind of cranky this morning. Can't imagine why. She gets to sleep inside a big, warm house and eat anytime she wants to. She can come and go when she likes. What has she got to be off her feed about?
Hey Freckles, did you know they shoot deer? Did you ever hear of such a thing. Do you think my horns are too long? I know they aren't the same length.... but do they look like that deer we saw the other night? Do you think that I look like  one of them? What about a Coyote. Do I look like a Coyote? WHAT! What do you mean you don't care? What kind of attitude is that? What's the matter with everyone? I need a nap. No one understands me. Do you think we will get fed tonight? No one cares..... and the leaves keep falling into the water bucket. Bart.... Murph', where are you? Do you know they shoot deer?......."        

5 comments:

  1. giggles... i so LOVE Brownies conversations! HYSTERICAL!

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  2. Oh this got me tickled!! First of Brownie's conversations I've read and smiling ear to ear here. So darn precious!!!

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  3. This was a very cute story. Brownie is something else. Worried about his horns worried about getting shot. Maybe he will realize that he is in a safe place. Have a blessed day. Madeline

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  4. Oh poor Brownie!! He needs to do some yoga or something to calm him down! Maybe a little Irish whiskey in the water trough!

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  5. Heh- just like kids, some want everything right? LOL Great dialogue, you could write a children book!

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