I prefer winter and Fall, when you feel the bone structure of the landscape — the loneliness of it, the dead feeling of winter. Something waits beneath it, the whole story doesn’t show. ~Andrew Wyeth

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Coming Home

When I left my sister's house last week, I stopped by the cemetery to visit with Mom for a little while.
She is in the Queen of Heaven Cemetery, in Pleasant Hill, CA. It seems easier, now, to come and visit. It has been four years.
The day was lovely. I always sense that if she knows of her surroundings... that she is happy. She has others to talk to... other mothers that were loved too.
Some with small decorations that glitter in the sun.
The Robins were nesting in the Curly Willow tree nearby.

  She would have liked watching them fly about. She loved birds and used to feed all of the feathered creatures that came to our backyard when we were children. She would always leave them warm water on cold winter mornings and line the fence with birdseed. The birdbath would freeze over and she would show us how to take water outside, crack the frozen water, throw it out and pour the warm water into the birdbath so the birds would have water for the day. That was Mom. She cared about everyone.

I said goodbye to her and drove east over the hills , through Antioch and over the river. I was tired. Sis and I had a good time at Art is You in Petaluma but it was time to be home.
 The night before I drove over to see the Beans and my son and daughter in law. So I got to see the boys and take them the silly Halloween glasses that I bought them in Petaluma.
I drove through the Delta and decided to take the Delta loop road instead of going over to the Rio Vista bridge and then east on highway 12. The Delta loop cutoff is a quiet ride along the sloughs and ranches that are situated on peat dirt land between the rivers. There are cows, flocks of sheep and goats with beautiful white guard dogs that shepherd their flocks. I love this drive. It takes a little longer but it's a tranquil side road that I'm getting very comfortable with. Just after Brannon Island State Park on highways 160, there is a road that turns off to the right called (what else) W. Brannon Island Rd. I head across the San Joaquin River onto W. Twitchell Island Rd and follow this road all the way to the Owl Harbor Marina. This is were I cross the slough and  make a few turns left, then right, then left, up onto Jackson Slough Rd, which takes me back to highways 12 and east to Lodi.
 The whole loop is much longer, but I don't like to be out there on those levee roads all day, so this is a short cut to get back on a highway.
My friend, who lives in Isleton, was out of town for a few days, so I didn't stop there. I drove straight home.
When I arrived on the mountain, the Prospector and the Corgi boys were there to greet me. It was so good to be home.
That little family, Mommy, Daddy and the Beans, had just been up here two days before I got home. They had gone to Apple Hill above Placerville and came by to see Papa and the dogs. 
When I walked into the ~guest, computer, art and everything else I can use it for~ room, I noticed a piece of paper on the floor held in place with a big piece of quartz. I picked it up and read it.
You have found this note and when you find the next note you will know who it is from. from ?
I knew the handwriting.
I looked around for another one and there on my computer chair was "the next note".
There are two other notes in this room   Find them.    from?
Well, this was getting fun.
I looked around and found a third note.

This one was in red letters, under the computer mouse. It read,
That would be my oldest grandson. He's eight. He is very smart, handsome and , clearly, loves his Noni.
The feeling is mutual.
These letters are worth more than any gold in my gold pan... any money in the bank.
These letters are what makes my life worthy.
I have, in this messy room, drawings and letters from both of my Beans. They are the product of two growing boys that I love more than chocolate. I didn't think I could love a child more than I loved my sons, but it seems that we have the capacity to expand love anytime we need it. It's a renewable resource.
How wonderful!
I will be spending Halloween with my family in a few weeks.
Maybe we'll take Mom a spooky cupcake and the birds can help her eat it.


  1. that was such a sweet post! My own mother has been on my mind so very much lately...I hope she knows, as you say. Love the little notes and the boys who left them, I also thought I could not love anything more than my own children but these grandkids have stolen my heart, every last beat of it.

  2. yep, my destiny was to be a grandma to my 3 and counting
    ...wish my energy were higher
    Your post was so wonderful to read
    wish I had a sister
    I love to drive alone on such roads..so peaceful
    but it is fun to ride shotgun too
    can hang your eyeballs out the window better
    such beautiful photos
    absolutely loved the notes
    I have a box of such in my whatever room
    have a nice weekend with your fella

  3. awwww how adorable....i love the scavenger hunt...gave me a big smile...and nice to drop in on my...the decorations, things left behind always intrigue me at cemeteries

  4. This is such a sweet post. We should start every day with the thought that Love is ever available and always unlimited. Just live it!

  5. Love the notes your grandson left for you. Little things like that just makes ones day. I have 11 grandchildren the youngest one here is 15 all my younger ones are out in Washington state, so I do not see them that often. I am like your mother I keep fresh water in my bird baths and food in the bird feeder for all the birds. Have a blessed day. Madeline


  6. Next time you talk to your mother, please send her my love and tell her, once again, how grateful and thankful I am that she got those two little blond girls back together!

    October, my mostest favoritest month of all!!!

    O suns and skies and clouds of June,
    And flowers of June together,
    Ye cannot rival for one hour
    October's bright blue weather . . .
    Helen Hunt Jackson (1830-1885)

  7. What a beautiful message to come home too-Love, love it. It makes everything worthwhile. Thanks for sharing it.


  8. Visiting parents who've passed on is so melancholy. I'm glad you returned to such a happy set of notes! Grandchildren are the best gift in the entire world. A tonic for old age, I think.

  9. Well Connie, the tug of the home line is strong no matter where you go and what you do. Coming down the road to "home" is the most endearing feeling ever. How precious your grand beans are! You are truly blessed to have them close by. I sure hope if my daughter has children I can be a big part of ltheir lives. I miss having kids in my life and my sisters girls are far and few between visits.


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