“To photograph is to hold one’s breath, when all faculties converge to capture fleeting reality. It’s at that precise moment that mastering an image becomes a great physical and intellectual joy.”
~Henri Cartier-Bresson



Saturday, December 11, 2010

Intimations of Life Without Christmas

Silly me! Christmas is almost here, and other than a few ornaments and what was handy in some boxes in the closet, this is what it will be this year.
I got a viral infection that has wasted a whole week and almost wasted me. It started with a small headache and loosing my voice. It turned into a monster that wouldn't let me breath and coughing that almost did me in. By yesterday I said "I give." and went to the hospital in Elk Grove to see my doctor. I started running a fever.
I wrote this poem for him....although I didn't take it with me, so he didn't actually see it.

Please Doctor.... Make me well

Christmas is a coming.
I've got so much to do...
The cookies need some baking 

and all the gifts bought too.
I can't be sick much longer. 
It's not the time of year.
I haven't finished anything. 

Please kick me in the rear.
Give me all the medicine

that you know will make me well.
Because the season is coming fast 

and, Oh, I feel like Hell.
Just one magic potion

to make my body right.
Just one magic potion 

to let me see the light.
I promise I will write a letter,

with cookies, to your boss,
And tell them you're the best darn "doc"

in the whole entire Hosp'.

(OK, that last line is kind of lame. I will work on it.)
_______________
The Prospector drove this wretched person down to her appt. The doctor listened, poked and did some tests and sent me home with antibiotics, Codeine cough medicine and Albuterol inhaler. He told me that I shouldn't have waited so long to come in. I was borderline. (I've known that for years.)
Today I feel...... better. Kind of.
Silly me. I thought I wasn't going to get better. It's hard to be positive when you can't breath.
I have this small thought inside that is getting larger, as I grow older. It's like a window with old distorted glass. I'm looking into it and I see my reflection. Behind me is my mother. She couldn't breath either.
At some point in our lives we see this reflection of what lies ahead... and it's so scary we can't even say it's name.
I'm so glad Christmas is coming..... Maybe it will snow.

13 comments:

Sharon Lovejoy said...

Please don't dwell on the fear. Take each moment slowly. It is shocking how much our mind set can do for us rather than against us.

All joys to you,

Sharon Lovejoy Writes from Sunflower House and a Little Green Island

Midcenturymadam said...

It is frightening when you can't breath. I hope you feel better very soon. Take care of yourself, forget the decorating and baking. Just focus on healing.

Madeline's Album said...

This time of year it is awful to be sick. I hope the medicines the doctor gave you work fast so you can do what else needs to be done. Have a blessed evening. My prayers are with you. Madeline

LV said...

What a different and interesting post. You should have given the doctor your list. I am sure he would have enjoyed hearing your thoughts. Trust you are feeling better and soon back in full swing. There is a lot of this similar stuff going around. Most are diagnosed as a sinus infection.

ClassyChassy said...

Take care of yourself, dear! And next time, get to the doc sooner!!! Tsk Tsk! Love your poem, but rework that last line, okay??? tee hee!

jojo said...

I can't even admit how many times I look through that window. Please take care of yourself and get thee to a doctor sooner if it happens again. There are just too many of us that need you in our lives...now rest!

Kerry O'Gorman said...

Feel better soon farmlady! Your ornaments are so sweet...I have just started a new part time job so I am lagging in the decorating department as well...some lights up out side but tomorrow my nephew and I will start on the inside...take care

Terra said...

I hope that you are completely healed soon. When I am under the weather my thoughts can be very gloomy, so I understand your thinking and hope you will have a bright and happy next few weeks and that Santa will bring you your heart's desire.

Denise S. said...

Feel better sweet FarmLady and I'm not sick but have done very little decorating.
Just feel better OK.

Jo said...

Well let me start by asking this question.... Borderline what? It is just like you to leave us with a cliff hanger Ellie Mae. As you know I am a connoisseur of great poetry and I LOVE YOUR VERSE. I even love the last line. It gives the whole thing a special charm all of it's own. I know all about the dark side of being ill. I am sending lots of positive energy your way to use toward getting better. Love you Great Big Girl!

Chef E said...

Oh My Gosh Mrs. C! You know how many of us borderline people are walking around :)

I have heard all over the country this weather is the worst for breeding respiratory infections, and people getting inhalers from their doctors! I started an epidemic, or was it hubby who came home and gave it to me...

Please get well, and I hope you find a few more treasures in the closet that spark memories and bring on a smile...

Happy Holidays my friend...(sing a Christmas song to the farm for me!)

Whosyergurl said...

Love your poem! You should have given it to the good doc...he would have gotten a chuckle out of it.
I love your blog! randdom, but true.
I am home sick, today. Nausea and headache. I was out sick one day last week with an upper respitory infection. Tis the season!
Sending all good get well thoughts to you!
XO, Cheryl

Paxie Panicker said...

After my first ever bout with pneumonia last November, I've been on Spiriva and Advair and oxygen when I need it. Ugh.

I loved your poem and agree, the Doc would have enjoyed it. Glad you are on the mend and as long as all are healthy and lots of love is going around...no decorations needed!

My tree is still not up and no gifts bought.

Somehow, I don't think the world will end :)