"People from a planet without flowers
would think we must be mad with joy the whole time
to have such things about us."
~Iris Murdoch, A Fairly Honourable Defeat

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Post #2- A Very Special Life


I wonder, now that I'm home and have had time to chew and swallow my whole vacation experience, how many folks really make a conscious choice to live their dreams. I think that my friend "D" and her husband do this more than anyone I know and it's not an easy thing.
You make choices in life. The reality is not always what the dream was. There are all the little things that you don't anticipate... the fact that you have to go where the work is and leave your home a lot. There's the constant effort to live simply and maintain a lifestyle that makes you and your partner happy. There are compromises, fears and that unsettling feeling that life will make things change and that, as you get older, it will be harder to make this lifestyle work.
You start holding onto things but also want to let go. What you say you want to do and the pull of "making a living" start to grate on each other. Then you think about the accumulation of material things that make life more comfortable but become logs caught in the roots of boggy, snagging permanence. Freedom is calling..... the elk of the high country are bugling your name and the quaking Aspen are whispering " come to us". It's not an easy thing when you have always been a free spirit but have a longing for "place"

This is a very special "place". This home reminds me of my grandmother's home in the hills of Napa.... only cleaner and with a flair for creativity. Henny, the chicken, knows. She has made her wishes clear. She wants breakfast every morning and to be tucked in at night. It's what all chickens want in life.

Last year when my mother died, "D" was there. She didn't get there in time to be with Mom but sometimes things don't work exactly the way you anticipate and Mom couldn't wait. So it is with life and death. But "D" came and she was present in that great time of need . She helped us so much with so many things. She helped us grieve and wrapped her arms around our sadness. When she was ready to leave I asked her to, please, take something, anything, that she wanted to remember Mom . She took some little bird statues, some glass eggs and a few other small things and then said that if we sold any of the furniture she would like to buy the kitchen table because she remembered so many wonderful times there and that table had always been in that place. It had so many memories for her. We didn't sell it to her. My sister and I gave it to her and helped her load the table into her truck. We gave her the one thing that she really wanted. It seems the most perfect person for it to go to.
She took that oak table home to Montana and during my visit I found the table in the upstairs bedroom, in a quilt making area, close to the bed. Every morning I would wake up and see the table. What a wonderful gift.... to know that this table is in my friend's house. I could hear my mother's voice saying " Yes, this is a good place for this table. It's found a new home. I'm so happy it's here." ...and so it goes. Sometimes we make choices that seem so right. Sometimes happiness is just there in the reflection of an old oak table and life is what it is.

I don't really have a 3rd post now that I condensed the photos into collages. I'm done for the day. Tomorrow "D" and I will be off for Glacier National Park.
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8 comments:

Madeline's Album said...

What a lovely post and beautiful photos. I thorougly enjoyed reading the second post on your visit with your friend "D". Have a blessed day. Madeline

jojo said...

beautiful post, beautiful sweet memories. I'm so glad you were able to visit D and see your mother's memory there. The table is lovely...it reminds me of "home."

Laura ~Peach~ said...

i do so love your friends home whats it like in the winter?? it is absolutely beautiful and in a most amazingly beautiful place I love the table too what a great set of memories... I am so glad you got to spend time there with her!! love hugs ear scratchs and grits!

The 4 Bushel Farmgal said...

I've just been able to catch up with your wonderful trip, and I'm glad you had a good time. The lifestyle your friends have chosen is very inspiring, having made the changes that we all talk about! Respect for Nature, using only what you *need*, forgoing excess. They have my respect.

Your photos are beautiful, and I love the style/proportions of their house. I'm sure the overhang is designed for maximum weather protection, but it must also be terrific for relaxing on a summer evening!

Sue said...

I have been reading your posts about your trip to Montana and am just fascinated with everything you have done and have shown us. What am amazing place to have a home and a life. Isn't it wonderful to still have such a good friend to cherish and celebrate life with? I'm so glad that you had this time to share with your friend, "D" and commiserate about days gone by. And I am glad that she has your mom's old table and is enjoying it. Reading about Miss Henny the chicken was such a hoot, too!
I know you're glad to be back home, but you have new memories of your friend to stow away in your heart.... Take care, my friend. ~ Sue

Kerry O'Gorman said...

Have I ever told you what a wonderful writer you are? You have such a way of conveying feeling into word and getting it to sit deep inside a person. p.s...the house looks like a good place.

Charming Baglady said...

Damn girl, you write good! I wish I’d been able to stay in P.H. longer and get to know “D” better. What a fabulously interesting life she has led and is still leading. I love (and covet) her wood stove and old ice box. Then I read about you giving her your mother’s kitchen table. And I cried. I agree, “D”s home is the perfect place for it; where it will be loved and nurtured. Blessings to both you “girls”. ~Dawn

LemonyRenee' said...

This is a lovely post -- warmed my heart -- like a good talk at the kitchen table.

The comments you left on my blog yesterday are among the kindest and most important I have ever received. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.