It was, as I have said, a fine autumnal day; the sky was clear and serene, and nature wore that rich and golden livery which we always associate with the idea of abundance. The forests had put on their sober brown and yellow, while some trees of the tenderer kind had been nipped by the frosts into brilliant dyes of orange, purple, and scarlet.... As Ichabod jogged slowly on his way, his eye... ranged with delight over the treasures of jolly autumn. ~Washington Irving, "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow"
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Wishful Thinking and a Few Highlights
There is an old expression that goes..."Hope springs eternal." Well, that's my mantra these days. When the gray hair arrives, even in places besides your head, and your skin starts to look like you remember your grandmas looking like. When your eyelids start sagging into you eyes and making you look like you partied too much the night before and you didn't. When , no matter what you do to "take 10 years off your over all appearance" nothing works... then it's time for desperate measures.
I don't have the money for face lifts and tummy tucks, but if I did I think I'm at that level of desperation that I might do it if I had a few thousand dollars of disposable income floating around. But I don't. So, what's left? .... La Petite Frost.
I don't think it's too much to ask that if you buy this product, the results should come somewhere close to the picture on the front of the box. I know I'm probably 40 years older than this model. I KNOW that I probably weight more. Ha! I haven't had my lips puffed up and my bangs aren't long and straight like hers, but..., gee wiz! I just want to maintain a little fantasy of my former self.
So I bought the box with the beautiful girl on it and yesterday morning while the Prospector was gone (I NEVER do this when he's around. It's just too invasive for an audience), I slipped on the plastic cap; pulled my hair through the holes in the cap with a miniature crochet hook, until my aching fingers where crying for me to stop; prepared the bleaching solution and spread it all over my head, being very careful not to drip any on my age spots. Then I waited 45 minutes. I wanted the maximum effect.
Well, I guess my hair looks lighter and more "summery". I'm thankful for small improvements at this stage of my life. I still think that L'Oreal should use OLDER models so we don't have so far to fall when we make comparisons. But, like the gold ring on the carousel. We always have to reach.... keep trying.
Then, to add insult to injury, I was in the bathroom slopping on the solution, when Carl walked in on me....
His ears went up and his eyes got bigger. You'd thing he had seen a monster (or a strange dog) inside the doorway. I said some reassuring words to him and he GROWLED at me. Then he ran into our bedroom and hid under the bed.
After I removed the cap and washed the "H75 Chardonnay" solution out of my hair Carl cautiously returned. Farmlady was in the bathroom again and the monster was gone. He wagged his tail and left. Dogs!
I like the highlights. I feel better.., lighter. Maybe with a new style of eyeglasses I could pass for , Oh, 57 maybe 56.., late 50's.., 60? Now I need a haircut because I got some of the "solution" on the hair that I forgot to tuck under the cap and it looks like I fell asleep in the sun with a swim cap on. I'm thinking I should use some of that nasty concoction on my age spots. Couldn't hurt!
Getting older is very high on the Suckometer. I try to not care. I keep telling myself that wisdom is better than beauty. But there she is..., that model on the box.... looking eternally beautiful.
There's no justice in this world...