“To photograph is to hold one’s breath, when all faculties converge to capture fleeting reality. It’s at that precise moment that mastering an image becomes a great physical and intellectual joy.”
~Henri Cartier-Bresson



Saturday, April 4, 2009

Give Me one More Day

"I'm not old, I just need re-potting." I have this sign over my front door. Sometimes I don't feel any older than I did 20 or 30 years ago, until I hike too far up the hill or wrestle with a goat who needs to have his hoofs trimmed. Then I realize that my body is not as agile as my thinking is anymore.., that this body is wearing out. And then I think to myself that it would be so nice if I could "re-pot" myself like some of the root bound plants in my garden. That's the problem. I'm root-bound. I need more room and better soil so I can keep growing, but here I am in my 60's, in a worn out old container that has been through some rough years of weathering the storms of life and there is very little that I can do accept lose weight and accept what is. Sometimes trying to be positive get really old. Sometimes being "happy"about everything gets tiresome.....

Just about the time I start feeling sorry for myself I take a look at what's around me. The mild Spring weather is edging up to 70 degrees. The linnets are frantically putting a nest together in the dog angel birdhouse and all the pansies have survived the cold nights and the wind...., and on my first Iris, about to bud, is a very small white spider.
The goats are happily eating the new grass in the pasture and smiling for the camera. We have planted some lettuce and tomatoes (the beginnings of a great summer garden) and a new, very yellow-orange bird has arrived to drink the hummingbirds sugar water but can't figure out how to get it's beak into the tiny opening. I'm sure the hummers are laughing over this. I am.
Spring has come to the Foothills of the Sierra Nevada Mountains and the hills are covered in carpets of small white flowers and yellow Buttercups. Each day I find a new wildflower and take a picture of it. Then I go back home and look it up to see what it's called. Each day I put one foot in front of the other and step forth, looking for something new, something beautiful. Today the old container allows me one more place, small though it may be, to hold and keep this fleeting life of mine, one more day, one more hour, one more breath....
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8 comments:

Barbee' said...

Farmlady, this is a beautiful post, and I don't mean just the photos. They are, too, but your writing is truly special. I, in my 72 year old container, was right along with you for the walk, only I may have moved just a little bit slower. I got tired of trying to help me by thinking positive thoughts and blessings to keep me going. Now, I have decided I will be patient with me and just move slower. Thank you for the stroll.

Roslyn Atwood said...

I suspect your turkey hen is a wise lady!She knows how dumb chickens are & that they must be well protected, lol!
My sister had three chickens named, Mrs.Chooky, Buk Buk & Bugurk!

"Sometimes trying to be positive gets really old. Sometimes being "happy"about everything gets tiresome....." Amen!!

Marjorie (Molly) Smith said...

It's so funny, my Sister and I were just talking today about how life has gone by so fast, it doesn't seem possible to be 65 and she 67. I agree sometimes you do get tried of being positive and happy about everything. We just have to keep moving 1 step at a time maybe even slower than yesterday, but at least we're moving. And just look around and enjoy our life while we can.

Barb said...

Glad you enjoyed my picture of 'vintage' us. The whole point was to make someone smile. =0)

Know what you mean about 're potting', only it is usually my mind and emotions that need the help!

Blessings,
Barbara Jean

Madeline's Album said...

What a beautiful post. Made me homesick for my home state. How well I remember the wild flowers blooming in the woods of my home town Nevada City. Like you this body is growing old even though there are days I fell 18 again, but when doing yard work the next day I ache in places I forgot I had. I have much to be thankful for and I when I do get down I try and remember that. Have a blessed Palm Sunday and a great Easter week. Madeline

julie whitmore said...

Your bird looks like a Bullock's Oriole, a female, if it has grey wings with a faint white patch. Call is sort of a chattering one.
I sure enjoy your pictures of the beloved mother lode. I live down below now, but am good friends with those foothills.

Julie Whitmore

Reddirt Woman said...

Oh, Lord... I think you read my mind and said it all way better than I ever could. It is cool here today and the wind is blowing about 15 - 20 mph and I don't even want to do anything but go back to bed. I agree that it is difficult to be positive all the time and when it gets to be too much I usually go out and dig in the dirt. It helps me to reset my head.

Thank you for your beautiful post and photos.

Helen

Tatersmama said...

Oh hun... what a beautiful, beautiful post!
And the pictures? Well, they just made me want to cry. I miss home so bad, I can almost taste it.