I know I'm not suppose to be here. I just can't help myself. I see an egg and I have to sit on it. I wait in here until the others lay their eggs and leave. That's when it happens. I get this irresistable compulsion. Sometimes I find myself sitting on 3 or4 at a time and I don't even remember how I got there.
My friend, Henny Penny, says it's PMS. I don't know what this is but she knows about a lot of things. She's very smart. The old lady must have it too. She gets so upset when she sees me on the eggs. Yesterday she picked me up and held me....., and shes always sticking this little silver box in my face. Sometimes it makes a big flash of light and I don't like that. All these things can be so annoying when I'm sitting quietly, minding my own business.
I do feel kind of cranky. Henny Penny says it's the beginning of old age and that I will experience a lot of moodiness and, sometimes, paranoia. I don't know what paranoia means but my friend says that I might get "evil thoughts" in my head.
Just look at those hens hanging around Napoleon. They think they're such big shots. I'll bet they're talking about me. Here's something to think about big shots: In my next life I'm going to be a chicken hawk. My name will be "Coop" de grace. Then all of you big, fancy hens better watch out when you're free ranging in the old lady's garden.